Yesterday I read a mommy blog. Well, at least it started out as a mommy blog in April but became something more in June. In June this mommy lost her youngest child in a tragic drowning accident. The blog has become her therapy. I couldn't stop reading through my tears because of this woman's amazing journey in such a short (and recent) time.
The past couple of weeks a co-worker/mentor/friend/mommy has been dealing with the struggles of her own child's health. He's been in the hospital for multiple surgeries - so young but so sick. It's been heartbreaking standing by watching while she fights not only this battle with her son but also carries half of our company on her shoulders.
Today we dropped the puppy off for his tumor removal surgery. And although I've seen some perspective from these mommies I couldn't help but shed a few tears for my baby.
I have been on again, off again as to whether or not I actually wanted to have children. Most of my adult life was a no until I got serious with My Heart. I know how much it means to him and I would love to give him that gift. I am more than willing to adopt a child in order to try and make their life better in any way that I can. I'm still not completely convinced however, that I am ok with carrying a baby of my own.
Here's my biggest concern though - am I strong enough? I'm worried sick about a puppy. How much more intense must these feelings be if it's a mini human - not to mention a mini human that you've grown inside your own body!? Am I meant to be a mommy?