robin blogged the hood

an autobiography in 5 short chapters:

Chapter I
I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the same place, but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in...it's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter IV
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter V
I walk down another street.

~ Portia Nelson

Thanks BFF G for letting me steal this from your blog! I really love it XOXO

simply made real

James Baigrie

The beautiful is everywhere.

―Fernand Léger

Every time I receive another email I turn on panic mode. It's all going to get done and it's all going to be great. These are my best friends and I need to focus and remember that. I love them and I am doing this out of that love.

There is a lot of emphasis on us placing and making it to New Orleans in November. I wish I would have spent more time preparing, gearing up for the journey ahead. It means a lot to me but really that isn't what's important. My Heart and I are doing this as a team. This day is about us experiencing something new, having fun and refocusing on our strengths as a couple.

The house. Oh, the house that is so close to being ours but still so far from reach. I dream. I stress. But mostly I dream.

In the end it will all be great and then come Monday we will relax at the PJ Harvey concert. This is the way life is meant to be lived. When I was lying on the bedroom floor, refusing to get up and get ready for work, I could see just the trees and sky outside the window. That's when I remembered, the beautiful is everywhere.

the ants in the geyser

I'm pretty sure that while outside on a break with Friend J we heard someone singing, "I just pooped on the sidewalk." And we definitely saw 2 dudes practicing their cheerleader moves on the street corner. God Bless ghetto Hollywood at 9pm on a Wednesday night.

irish i was a little bit taller

How f*ing hot are these Burberry Crisscross Ankle-Wrap Sandals!? And can you believe Spring starts this week. I'd like to wear these to bring in the new season!

(Click on image to purchase at NeimanMarcus.com)

stuck in the middle with you

So sadly, I did not win the Great Twitter Race. I'm quite disappointed but glad I participated none the less. So next I focus on Team Bear Attack's victory at the Great Urban Race Los Angeles this coming Saturday. In order to help gear up a group of us did a mini pub crawl using public transit this past Saturday. And other than the fight I had with My Heart (which does not bode well for race day I'm afraid) we had a blast riding the bus and trains all over downtown and even into Hollywood.















And for those of you who may be concerned, we are over it but it's bound to happen again. You know how couples can be. The unknown causing friction mixed in with impatience and a lack of trust with myself cost us a $40 cab ride home. At least we got home right?

Additional photos from the evening can be found here. Many thanks to Friend S for organizing the entire thing (hope your back is feeling better!). XOXO

and for my final trick

We had a champagne toast and then we did this:

Have I mentioned how great the people I work with are!?

And yes, that IS the one and only Bernie Madoff on the top of our pyramid wearing a warrior helmet... you should have seen what happened to him after this crashed to the ground! I think there might be a youtube video of this coming... stay tuned.

ring-a-round-the-ratio

Today is Friday the 13th and somehow that makes me happier, like it's a better Friday than normal. It is also the final day of the Great Twitter Race. So far I've submitted the following photos:

Day 1: Someone wearing a watermelon helmet
Day 2: Someone wearing a Snuggie holding a sign that says The Great Twitter Race
Day 3: Someone wrapped in bubble wrap holding a sign that says The Great Twitter Race
Day 4: At least 3 people standing in the middle of a hula hoop

That last one was a doozy! GUR upped the ante by saying whoever had the most people in their hoop got an extra 50 points. Lucky for me Friend C from work had an awesome hula hoop that was twice the size of a kiddie one you would normally find in a toy store. So I gathered all the smallest people at Aspect Ratio and together we pulled off 14 people standing in the middle of a hula hoop!


Today's task is to form a human pyramid with 10 people and the person on top has to be wearing a warrior helmet. So at lunch I'm off to find a warrior helmet! They've also added a bonus round:

Submit A Picture With The Most GUR Spirit, Which Will Be Judged By The GUR Team! 50 Points Will Be Awarded For The Best Pic! GO CRAZY

I've been brain storming all morning but I'm not sure what direction I'm going to go in. This could make or break the competition for me... I'm currently tied for 2nd place. Any suggestions?

god bless watermelon brain helmets

The Great Urban Race is less than 2 weeks away and Team Bear Attack is getting ready! I've joined Twitter in an attempt to reach out to people when we need help on clues. So if you're going to be home between 12pm and 3pm (PST) on Saturday, March 21st please join Twitter and follow me (bearattackgirL) so that when I send a tweet you can help a sista out by using your home computer to Google the answer for me and My Heart (aka Team Bear Attack). It's not a cheat, they actually encourage this kind of game play. So much so that they are hosting The Great Twitter Race this week. The first clue they sent out today was to send in a picture of someone wearing a watermelon as a helmet. Well, here's my someone:


If this is all a little too confusing for you but you're willing to help out Team Bear Attack with your Googling skills we would LOVE your help so let me know and I can either email, text or IM you clues as we need the help. XOXO

bock bach chickens

HAPPY FRIED-EGG!

puddle jump in my new boots

WHOO HOO!!! The Bank said yes! We have papers in hand! The house is ours! Save the date for a Memorial Day BBQ at the new "Mountain House" as we've been calling it!

I hope some of this blog luck rubs off on Alex too...

some sort of pop phenom

Also, this just in... I've never watched American Idol before this guy but he's great and it's so much fun to feel personally vested in something like this - he's the son of the head honcho at Aspect Ratio :-)

Hi Everyone,

Tonight we finally get to vote for Alex!!! All of you need to watch the show tonight (Fox, 8/7c) and VOTE. Please vote as many times as you can, not just once. It's sooooo important. Alex is going to be amazing tonight, obviously, but he won't make it to the top 12 unless everyone votes for him A LOT.
Apparently, if you're calling from a cell phone to vote you can only vote during the voting time in the time zone of your phone number. This is from the American Idol website, and explains:

"If you are calling or text voting from a cell phone and you are in a different time zone from your cell phone number, the systems will accept or reject your vote based on the time zone of your cell phone area code. For example, if you have a New York cell phone area code but are calling from
Los Angeles, you will be voting outside the East Coast voting window and your vote will not be accepted. Try calling again from a landline telephone during the West Coast voting window."

So make sure when you call to vote it's the appropriate time in the time zone of your area code. or just call from a land-line.

PLEASE VOTE FOR ALEX WAGNER-TRUGMAN TONIGHT ON AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!!

Thanks,
The Alex Wagner-Trugman Fan Club

put up the tent

We are officially in escrow but I'm not sure how much that means at this point. It's a short sale so even though we have agreed upon a price with the seller, it's lower than what they still owe the bank so we have to wait for the bank to say ok to the whole deal and call it even. They've given us a verbal "we are leaning toward a yes" but without anything in writing it doesn't mean much. The thing about this house is that it really is an oasis in the city. I can imagine living there. Not that I couldn't imagine living in about half the houses we've seen. So we wait and wait and wait... hopefully for this.

and then he kissed me

When bliss was at hand, we danced. And when tragedy struck, we danced.

One of my fondest memories of the courtship with My Heart was the night we danced. We waited in line for hours to get into the members opening of the Basquiat show at MOCA downtown. I had on a bright and fluffy peasant skirt and espadrilles. He had on a vintage corduroy jacket and jeans. We looked good together and we were blissfully happy in that moment. Moved by the art and the night he grabbed me. And it was there, amongst the paintings, the people, in the absence of music we danced. That is when I knew we were in love. Everyone knew we were in love.

And in the midst of personal tragedy our love brought us to dance once more. Our family hit with an unspeakable loss. Another family facing something equally heartbreaking. Sadened by these turn of events but continuing through the motions of life. My Heart and I discussing such bleak moments in a grocery store. And the music became all I could hear and so we danced. Who cares what everyone thought. I know we are in love and I pray every day that he is immune to what happens to others. I can't bear the thought of being left to dance alone.

the end is near and high

Dearest Readers,

Here’s a little something to sweeten your day.
Just click on the link below to see how a cupcake that I baked especially for you will help fight ovarian cancer. That’s because for every virtual cupcake sent this February, Electrolux will donate $1 to The Ovarian Cancer Research Fund.

CUPCAKE FOR YOU!

Enjoy,
the girL

just ask her to dance

I'm planning on gathering some of my own stuff and dropping it off next week. If any of you readers want to send additional items my way and think they'll get here before the 6th of March let me know...

LA's Prom Closet

Dear friends,

I am proud to say LA's Prom Closet is heading into its annual event of providing high school students the opportunity to attend their prom. For those of you who are unfamiliar, a few friends and I have worked very hard to start this non-profit organization, which donates old and new formal dresses to underprivileged high school seniors in the Los Angeles County school district.

In April, 2008 we held a fantastic event in Hawthorne providing not only dresses, but also workshops on etiquette, self-esteem and makeup application for a wide variety of young female teens. We hope to continue this success come March 14th at the second annual LA's Prom Closet's, "Dress to Remember".

As with all non-profits, the success of such an event heavily relies on the amazing donations given by people like you. Below is a list of categories in which we seek assistance. If you have any other ideas, please feel free to share.

Any help is greatly appreciated!

• Dresses: Formal and Semi-Formal. All sizes (Plus size dresses needed). Dry-cleaned or washed (dress drop-off locations to come)
• Dress accessories: Hangers, z-racks, clear plastic dry-cleaning bags, clothing tags, dressing rooms
• Tailoring: Seamstresses, sewing machines, irons, tailoring supplies
• Make-up: Make-up artists, make-up and supplies
• Jewelry: Earrings, bracelets, necklaces, rings
• Decorations: Formal event linen, tables, chairs, balloons, flowers
• Workshop assistance: Etiquette instructors, motivational speakers, etc.
• Gift bags: Paper or plastic gift bags, tissue for bags
• Clerical needs: Pens, Paper, Scissors
• Delivery assistance: Delivery truck
• Monetary donations: Anything you can provide is welcome. This is all tax-deductible!
• Food and beverages for the volunteers the day of the event: breakfast, snacks, lunch
• Volunteers for set up on the 13th and the big day on the 14th
• Drop off locations: Volunteer your home or business as a dress/supplies drop-off location
• Spread the word to your family, friends and colleagues!
  

If you are interested in donating a dress or services, please email laspromcloset@yahoo.com. The deadline to submit a gown and supplies is March 6th.

Kind regards,

Mary Jo Salcido
LA's Prom Closet
619.370.7008

"Sometimes achieving a larger dream means first making the small ones happen"

LA's Prom Closet is a non-profit 501c3 organization made of volunteers who rely on donated dresses, volunteer services and monetary donations to achieve its mission. http://www.myspace.com/laspromcloset

do you wanna feel my magic

I don't know whether to be fascinated or frightened. Who do you suppose they are targeting with this collaboration?

under the inspiration

This is something I think everyone should watch. Maybe if we educate ourselves we can get out of this mess.


The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

this is for the team

Emily #1 - by theblogoholicgirl on Polyvore.com


Emily #2 - by theblogoholicgirl on Polyvore.com

So yes, Friend AE, you can mix espresso and white furniture in your new baby's room and have it look gorgeous with your yellow walls. These are just a couple of quick ideas I had but if you want any real help I'm ALWAYS here for you! XOXO

P.S.
I wasn't sure what color your chair is since I couldn't find slate on the Pottery Barn website so I tried a blue and a stone color.

we shall arrive

I wrote that and decided I wouldn't publish it in case I was merely drunk on nostalgia and disappointment. I opened it again yesterday and just stared at it, trying to think of an amendment but it never came to me. So today I just hit publish and now I'm gonna try and focus on where I am now...

You can't go back and things don't ever really change. It's nice to be home in LA today, back in my life. Sometimes you have an ideal of what going back will be like and then the reality hits you hard. I am more than happy in my life just as it is now. I wouldn't change a thing - I know that to get here I had to make those mistakes and have a couple of regrets along the way. I wish I had done things differently so I wouldn't look back and feel such sadness but what's done is done. I have changed and worked hard to find what I need to be happy, to be whole and it is here and with them and especially with him. So, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. And maybe I wasn't the best I could be to myself then but I am now. And now is what matters.

a drive around the block

I don't really know what I was expecting from this trip and I'm not sure why it's turned out this way. I don't want to be here. I feel the fear and regret of mistakes made long ago. Things I know are far in the past but I can't shake the pain out of my head. I want to believe that everything happens for a reason and I wouldn't be where I'm at without these things. Problem is, if I had the chance to go back and do it over again I most certainly would change them and then who knows where I'd be.

the ghost around the corner

I believe in Love but I do not believe in Valentine's Day.

they call them 100s & 1000s

Yesterday's blog title was a lie... I mean, who doesn't love their donuts vegan!? I don't even like donuts but I love me some vegan ones... guess that's not the case for die hard donut fans.

Every Tuesday we have a finishing meeting that includes eating donuts (this tradition started long before I did).
At the conclusion of that meeting we pick a movie opening the coming weekend.
Once the movie is agreed upon (usually something we've worked on) we all submit secret ballots with the amount of money we think it will make for opening weekend.
If you are the furthest from the actual number than you're the unlucky bastard who has to drive to a donut shop before work and pick up a dozen for the next Tuesday meeting.
He who is closest gets immunity the next week (we had to do something Survivor style).
Sometimes the people complain that we always have the same donuts - they want to mix it up a bit. But trust me, the people don't really like change. And you know what, I don't really like donuts!
Sometimes there is nothing worth voting on so The Captain usually takes it upon himself to bring the donuts. Last week I decided to relieve The Captain of his duties because I had a surprise in mind (I should have remembered the people don't really like change).
Daily Candy introduced me to Dee and her donuts... her vegan donuts. So I went half an hour out of my way and stood in line to pick up something new, something different. I even added a half dozen order of vegan cinnamon rolls to my dozen donuts order and it wasn't cheap! While some people were pleasant about them, others kept their mouths shut and still others complained freely. See what happens when you try to introduce change? The same people who asked for it, revolt! Well, I don't care because the only way I like my donuts is vegan.

(Image Courtesy of Dee's Bakery & Donuts Website)

nobody likes vegan donuts

It's been raining here and I absolutely love it. What I don't love is that my pants and shoes end up all wet before my day has even really started. But of course, to find rain boots in LA during rainy season is all but impossible unless you want icky ones. So I went online and ordered some from none other than Target. My Heart didn't want me to spend too much since we are pinching pennies for our home purchase right now. But I did just win $500 on the office Super Bowl squares final score. So my indulgence is this...


Only set me back $24.99 so I also bought these tall plain black...


I like these for a more everyday sort of use... and they only set me back $24.99 as well! God Bless Target

(Side Note: I ordered these online and I ordered the wrong size - don't ask - so I called customer service and they were amazing! They fixed it in a matter of minutes and with a smile. Just another reason to shop at Target)

the team strikes again

On Sunday March 8th I will be running the 2nd Annual Glendale Downtown Dash. A 5k Run/Walk benefiting the Glendale Adventist Medical Center Stroke Services. I am a team leader and I'm looking to recruit additional runners/walkers for team 5k and Tacos. If you can't make it out please consider donating to this worthy cause. Please contact me for additional info or visit Glendale Downtown Dash. Thanks!

when it rains

And now Los Angeles is getting it's very own Two Boots Pizza!

with the glass slipper

*This was started on Friday but I got busy and so it was finished today - which is Monday 2.9.09

Yesterday we officially did not get the house we put the offer and counter off in on.
Yesterday while watching 2 of my favorite shows, Gossip Girl and Ugly Betty, I realized I will never live in NYC.
Yesterday was a sad day.
But I have grieved for my losses and today I am moving on.
The house was perfect. The mix of 1937 character and charm with all the desires of a current home. The kitchen was flawless, the eggplant colored dining room right up our alley, everything added up to what both of us were looking for. However, it was not meant to be. The doctors outbid us by $20,000 - something way beyond our means.
In my mind, New York is the better of the two. I have often dreamed of living on each coast to find out which suits me best. The West Coast was much more easily attained after college so once that diploma was in hand I headed straight to LA. I always thought there would be time. NYC was this mysterious woman just waiting to sweep me off my feet. My fond memories of her brought back by watching the episodes of my favorite shows whose characters keep company with this mistress. The last time I was there whispering in my mind with seduction. Remembering the feeling of the street against my espadrilles and the taste of Two Boots Pizza after a couple of drinks with friends.
So I woke up today and realized that I am done mourning what never was mine. I am now rejoicing in what I am blessed with. So good bye what was not lost. Hello to my lovely lovely life. Because today I love LA and tomorrow we're going to find the house that was meant to be.

locked in for the night

The anxiety of the unbalance. The thrill of the wind in your hair. The fear of the fall. The wonder of gliding through space. Remember how exciting it was to roller skate as a kid? There's something about going around in circles as fast as you can, four wheels strapped to your feet, the smooth floor sliding away from you, music pumping, lights flashing. It's exhilarating really. And if you could do it at 10 apparently you can still do it at 30... after a couple of slow practice laps of course. What makes it even more fun are a private roller rink rented out for a friend's birthday and a couple of kegs. Throw in a post-apocalyptic theme complete with Nerf guns with targets strategically placed around the rink and you've got yourself a Friday night party! Friend M was the latest to turn 30 and threw a great bash last weekend. The only down side was once you fell too hard or too many times you don't get back out there as easily as you did when you were a kid.

because of august

This thing we're calling a hunt... you forget about the part where you wait silently in the bushes for hours on end for the perfect shot. It's a lot of work and it takes great patience. I'm growing weary and we're less than a month in.
How do you find the perfect house? That place you feel is home? Do you finally let go of the dream for reality? I think that's what the first month does. It wears you down enough to give in to second or third best. Actually, maybe even fourth or fifth best. I feel like putting my head down on a soft pillow and forgetting about all of this. The only problem is waking back up in our current place of residence and realizing it's not home either.
Every weekend, life sacrificed to better the future. Thirty houses in. Nothing. We've put in an offer on one but it's looking grim and nothing else is going to compare. So we lie back down in the grass and wait.

strike up the confetti

This is the last of the 40...

#9 Create a personal web site

#21 Learn to Lindy Hop

#28 See the Aurora Borealis

#30 See the top of Mt. Kilamanjaro

#34 Surf

#36 Take culinary art classes

hope for the flowers

It was partially a really good thing to do and partially a really good way to get out of work! I came in for a couple of hours just to let everyone know I was going to be out. I left a little early just to be sure I was on time. Driving, worrying. Not sure why I was doing this or what it was going to entail exactly. Relieved that I was able to reach back when a friend was reaching out in need. Can I call him a friend? That's weird to say actually. He's been in my life for almost a decade. Helping figure my shit out. Supporting. Joking. Fixing. Flattering. Being there was one of my favorite places in the world. To find out he was gone from his space and in a hospital bed instead, broke that world. The distance of time felt like too much to span. But he had made me feel so loved and I wanted to make him feel the same. Such a different experience this time around. Getting to be a part of it. Witness. Support. Friend. Help. So I arrived with plenty of time and found my way to the room. I filled out the forms and chewed the calcium they asked me to. I was frightened but just kept thinking how much easier I had it than he did. And in the end it wasn't that bad. It was a perfect day of new beginnings and I was hoping to be a part of yours.

One of my favorite people in this not-always-so-friendly business is Stuart Bartell*. He's the glue that holds together a post house I used to go to all the time called SSI. Well, 3 or so weeks ago he was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia. He's not the first friend I've known whose had to deal with this demon we call cancer but he was the first to reach out and let us all be a part of it. This man has been beyond good to me in the years I have known him so the least I could do was answer the call when he needed platelets donated. News has been mixed but he's fighting and we're all in his corner. And I'm glad that I have been a part of his life and his fight for his life.

*I never use real names but I figured if I put this out in the universe the more people thinking positive thoughts for him the better.

like moss on brick

Starting tonight My Heart and I no longer watch TV on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday nights. We found that TV was making us lazy in life and in love. I know by nature we are both easily sucked into the mindless entertainment of television. It's so easy to come home every night after a long day's work and just sit and "relax" in front of the box. We don't talk about shows or further explore topics we find interesting on the TV even though we both enjoy educational fare. It's sad really, how much time we find lost to this past time. So starting today we are taking a stand in order to save ourselves from this shallow existence. 3 days a week with absolutely no TV. We used to do no TV Tuesdays and Thursdays but forgot about it along the way. And before that we had dinner date night on Wednesdays with no TV watching allowed but that too went by the wayside. I hope this one sticks. We need to make this one stick. Life is too short to worry about what episodes you missed (and there are DVRs these days anyway). Maybe now I'll finally start tackling that to do list I've been writing about. Knitting party anyone?

the days when this was fun

Have you ever had a Michelada? Mmm, good summer weather long walk in Hollywood drink.

Was going to go to the Thai place up the street for lunch today, just me and my book, but when I got there they had a giant C on their window. For those of you not familiar with the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health ratings let me just tell you a C is not good. When visiting, stick to the A's unless you absolutely have to go to a B but under no circumstance should you venture in to a C. Trust me, those stomach gurgles will turn into worse.

So I just kept walking. Wandering. Wondering. Called My Heart. No Answer. Phone Rings. My Heart. That's where the Michelada comes in. Joined him and some of the old crew at one of their local hang outs which was a lot closer to walk to than I thought. I guess I can't always complain about the perfectly sunny weather here because it was a beautiful day for such a walk and Hollywood is really becoming a more interesting and less scary place to use the old chevro-legs (my sister shared that awesome term with me and i thought it so clever i needed to instert it into this blog).

So this weekend is off to a slight buzz of a start.
Tomorrow I get the old hair did.
Then we meet with our new realtor to go look at houses!
Yay!
That means you all better start planning your trips to LA because soon you'll have a place to stay.
Then Sunday is Friend R's birthday party.
So much fun packed into 3 days.
I better go get it started

from the master himself

I heart heart heart Christian Louboutin - I mean, what's not to love?



And his Spring collection doesn't disappoint. Here are some of my absolute faves:

Wouldn't mind any one of those doing the carrying!

consumed by earth & co.

Here we are the 14th of January and it's 80+ degrees outside.
Friends are having babies. Co-workers are having babies.
My Heart and I are looking for a new home of our very own.
Things are moving along but never changing and yet we are all looking for change.
At least I think that's what we're looking for. At least we're looking... right?
Less than a week until that big one we've all been holding our breath for.
But will we even be able to notice the difference?
Always the same, never the same thing twice.
Getting up at 6 in the morning because change needs to start from within.
Make the changes in yourself that you want to see in others?
How exactly does that work if you can't apply it - an apple to an apple?
But my apple is a cup of sand.
So I get in my ball and I roll around the living room and then I go back into my cage.
The wheel or the water, the choice is mine. So I poop on the floor.
What!?

On an unrelated note...
Thanks to to i *heart* you I submitted mine - can you guess which one it is?

the first bite of rancid

My company has started a blog of their own for all of us creative folks to share ideas with one another and make the environment even that much more creative or whatever. I'm trying to come up with new and exciting posts for both of these blogs now so my creativity is strapped.
Friend C (who is also now a co-worker) shared this with me and as inspiring as I thought it might be for the work force neither one of us has the balls to post it so I'm sharing it here instead:

Get It On :30

after the sun you open the umberella

Tomorrow.
I know it should be
Today.
but no, Tomorrow.
I promise.
Tomorrow I start this:



The Republic of Tea has an amazing line of be well red teas that I'm excited to start "using" ;-)
This stuff's gonna become my drug of choice. I already drink Yerba Mate like it's going out of style so I'll just substitute it with one of these that may suit my needs for the day.

I will also wake up tomorrow morning and work out BEFORE going to work... that way there are no excuses from now on.

I usually hate the whole resolutions and starting anew thing about the new year but I'm going to embrace it because I think 2009 is going to be different.

in between now and ice

Last winter every cold night when My Heart and I climbed into bed he would say something about how freezing the bed was and that we really needed to get some winter sheets. And though I agreed with him I never did anything to change it. I kind of always found winter sheets to be tacky cabin looking flannel. I like what we have on the bed now even if it is like climbing into a block of ice. Well, freeze no more my friends! Thanks to Petunia Face we will soon have a sweet ass TaunTaun of our own to sleep in.
I ordered the pear colored microfiber fleece sheet set from The Company Store and it looks amazing! I can't wait to slip between these teddy bear sheets and cuddle off into dream land. And don't think I'm going to keep that popsicle of a comforter cover to accompany these new sheets. Instead I'm going with the Stanton Stripe flannel cover to not only keep us warm but to coordinate nicely with the pear color of our new sheets and the existing colors of our bedroom.
Get ready honey - no more sweatshirts and long pants to bed!

gobbledigook

Alright, let's get to it kids! 2009 is upon us and I am ready to get back on track. So I've been thinking about some of this for a couple of weeks now and I know we're done looking back but I'm still gonna go there.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER I PRESENT YOU...

Why I heart 2008:

1. My introduction to the fine music of Sigur Ros
2. P.E. Obama
3. All things twilight
4. Blogging for an entire year
5. Captain Little Bear coming into our lives
6. My Heart's amazing Christmas gifts
7. Turning 30 in the land down under
8. My new Kate Spade bag
   
9. The new connection I've made with my girlfriends
   
10. Aspect Ratio
    

Why I think I'm going to heart 2009:

1. A new house on the horizon
2. President Obama
3. Baby AE
   
4. The next Harry Potter film
5. Aspect Ratio
6. Continued expansion of the green revolution
7. Donna Karan's Spring 2009 ready-to-wear collection, especially the jumpsuit
8. My girls!
9. Planning a trip maybe to Paris or NYC
10. The Great Urban Race (GO TEAM BEAR ATTACK!)

with brains mc-something

One of my sisters surprised me with a visit so I've been out of commission for a while.
I'm hoping to post my top ten of 2008 tomorrow so keep on waiting! XOXO

maybe more on the fringe

Did I mention that I kind of have Alice Cullen hair now? And I didn't even have to get a haircut! Since I try not to bring up twilight to often in front of my co-workers they have named it Josey and the Pussycats hair

but i was never a contender

I love the theater. It feels so alive and in turn makes me feel alive as if being in the audience really makes me a part of it. It oftentimes brings me to tears I am so moved by it's sincerity. Never is that more so than when I personally know someone performing on the stage.
When I was in the 8th grade a friend was the lead in Annie at the Pikes Peak Center. I saw her in that production at least 2 times and cried through every show. At that time not really understanding what had come over me and a bit embarrassed by it all.
On Friday My Heart and I went to see a friend perform as George Bailey in a local production of It's Wonderful Life. He was fantastic and the performance was heart wrenching. I think it only took all of 3 minutes before the waterworks started. I cried throughout the entire show. Sure it was partially the story and because it was the theater atmosphere in general but mainly it was because Friend J was on the stage and he brought it. Just like Annie all those years ago.

forget me not forgetful

The puppy bomb went off again (when am I going to learn!?). This time it destroyed my glasses. So I got new ones...

(Ted Baker Sunset)

These are the new ones. My old ones were very similar. They were a darker purple like this but these also have a green color on one side. It's hard to tell because they are so dark but trust me, they are green and purple.

Oh, and remember the last thing the puppy bomb destroyed? Well, I hated the replacements and sent them back. Still looking for the perfect sandal but luckily it's not urgent seeing as how it's winter and all.

sex scene stand in

Ok, so they were like professional grade actors (one flown in from Toronto) working on this short film of Friend S's. Professional grade actors who do not stand around and do what the DP or AD or Director is telling them to do while they set up the shot. No, professional grade actors have a rehearsal and then the real thing. None of the bullshit of walking through the motions so the lighting and the camera position are just right. No, of course not. That would be the PA's job. My job.
Shot One: I push male stand in onto bed, close door behind me, stumble to bed, climb on top of him... and sit there. I think we did this one about a dozen times.
Shot Two: I am straddling male stand in on the bed... lie down, sit up, lie down, sit up, lie down... sit up... This one lasted maybe 20 minutes or so because the art department had to be called in to dress the set behind us.
Fully clothed. Didn't have to speak or make any sounds. Just went through the basic movements. Male stand in was super nice about the awkward situation but it was still slightly uncomfortable. Like I said, anything for a friend... well, almost anything.

this sandwich is delicious

Friday night was both My Heart and my work holiday parties. I didn't rock my dream outfit but I was pretty cute regardless! I went with dark jeans, peep toes and a vest number - trust me, it worked. We had fun but not as much as could have had... I ran a 5k on Saturday morning so 2 glasses of champers was my limit. Although, I think My Heart wishes he had set some limits ;-)

The 5k on Saturday was great. I'm becoming a fan of these things. I ran it with Friend R because the rest of Team 5k and Tacos was either pregnant or had a broken foot. I hadn't been training because of a stupid cold (and laziness) but I still managed to finish in about the same amount of time as the last one. Next will be one in March. Oh, and I may do a triathlon with Friend R in August.

So Friend S is shooting this short or was shooting I should say. Sunday was the last day. Let me tell you, it was a full on production! I am so proud of Friend S for pulling this off. She had the idea and made it happen. Good for her! I helped out a little bit on Sunday when I was a P.A. for a day. I got to man craft services, run errands and be a stand in (during the sex scene - awkward!). Anything for a friend.

CONGRATULATIONS TO FRIENDS S & B ON THE ENGAGEMENT!

CONGRATULATIONS TO TEAM AE ON THE BABY GIRL!

where were you on the night of 10.24.07

YAY to the 200th post!

for you again

(Print by Christopher David Ryan)

swallow this whole

This post is for Friend D because we don't talk enough and he's always posting such insightful comments and because I really am grateful to have him back in my life. Love you D.

I am finally coming out of my intense period of introspection to find that I am basically the same person who went into it. Nothing significant has changed but maybe that wasn't the point. Smaller might actually be bigger. The question of, "what do you do now that you've accomplished your goals (and then some)," not fully answered but just there - staring you in the face so that you have to at least address it. I guess you make new goals is what I've come up with. Once you reach this place in life where you aren't so much growing up but just growing it's harder to think about goals.

Maybe we are naive to think that there has to be more. Maybe less is more. Our fighting to survive isn't about the threat of livelihood. Our fight is more about finding outlets which will define our character, our nature. We have the creature comforts we need on a day to day basis but somehow for us, that is not enough. Others may say we are spoiled for thinking this way and not accepting what we have as sufficient. But I say no, we are not - because each and every day we are thankful for the pieces of our lives. The moment you forget you are owed nothing in this world is the moment you lose everything.

So now I'm going to focus more on the small. I want to fill my life with the pieces of the 100 things on my list; knitting, traveling, French, painting, writing, etc. I want to have fulfillment beyond these four walls - I want to fill in my soul. I think that means getting out of my brain for a while and just feeling. Maybe just being. Kant may have something there...

Reading back on my blog I realize this is a continues cycle, some times great and some times minute but always coming back around. I'm positive it's not over but maybe just at the apsis of my circle of angst. It's nice to know I'm not just floating out there alone what with my inner turmoil!

By the by, I think librarianship has you written all over it. I'm loving it! Wishing you an over-flowing stocking this holiday season XOXO

with cookies and soy milk

Best Friend G sent me an email yesterday sharing something special that the Xerox company is doing for our troops in Iraq. You can go to this website and pick a post card to write a personal message to those sacrificing for us. Xerox will then print it and deliver it for you. Kind of a neat thing to do this time of year.

(Click on the image to be taken to the website)

put your fur pants on

As many of you are well aware, I am a crazy pet parent. Yes, I own outfits for my "kids" and we include photos of them dressed up in our holiday cards. We have also gone so far as to give Grandma and Grandpa an ornament featuring their "grandkids" for Christmas. Furry kids are the best. I think My Heart would appreciate this then:

Ok, so it's not real. It's just a box you can buy from the Onion. It's supposed to be funny - so laugh. My Heart will totally think I was the nutty pet mom who went all out for the dog this year!

jodi's got nothing but mustard

There's this show we're doing some work on and being intrigued by what I was seeing I went ahead and I watched the 11 episodes we have available to us right now just to see what it was like. I thought I might like it because it has the word teenage in the title and I love anything teenage.

It's hard to explain exactly what it was like. A little preachy. A little racy. A little over the top. A little boring (but I still watched everything I could get my hands on). Early adolescence colliding with adulthood. It's scary and cheesy. A young girl finds herself pregnant after her first sexual experience with the drummer from the school band who's now sleeping with school slut but trying to hook up with the school crazy Christian who's football player boyfriend slept with the school slut after his girlfriend started wearing a promise ring but not to worry because one of the nice guys loves the pregnant girl and wants to marry her. Huh? Exactly.

The best thing about the show is the Sausage King. This rich, widowed, jolly father of the boy who loves the pregnant girl. He seems to always have this keen wisdom on every situation whether it involves said teenagers or their parents. My favorite thing out of the Sausage King's mouth so far, "Just live with it." So profound yet so simple. Thank you Sausage King, you are right yet again.

Think about it people...

super anti whatever

I was lying (laying?) in bed last night, not able to sleep, when I came up with how I was going to break the silence and finally write something new. Sitting at the computer today I'm drawing a blank. I think it had something to do with the pressure of coming back after a hiatus but I'm not sure exactly.

I haven't known what to write about so I haven't forced it. Also, once you're gone so long there is this looming anxiety of coming back. Do you just jump back in it? How? Do you apologize? Why really - isn't blogging more about personal gratification than pleasing others? Sure it's nice to entertain what readers I may have and I do want people to keep coming back for more. In all reality, I am missing this part of me so I figured I should just come back and find it again. So here I am.

On the phone with Mom yesterday I didn't have much to say even though we hadn't talked for a while. I told her I was boring. I no longer want to be boring! It's going to take a little time for that to change so bare with me here. I promise I'll be back sooner rather than later and a lot less boring.

today or just lately

I am feeling uninspired.

the cookie on my desk

Today I created a group on facebook to reconnect old co-workers. Should be interesting...

Yesterday I went with a friend to a show as a good friend should. It was very interesting...

Tomorrow I need to go shopping for the ingredients for my Thanksgiving dishes. I'm so not interested...

belle époque

Party Time by theblogoholicgirl

(Is it wrong to want to look this good at the company holiday party!?)

don't cry for me argentina

Had dinner at Pink Taco last night with team 5k and tacos. Friend K hobbled in with her newly found broken foot. I assumed it was from playing on her coed kickball team but I would be wrong. It reminded me of a post I was going to do a while ago about some of my most fondly looked back on but all too embarrassing moments. In no particular order...

1. In 1st grade (I think) we were playing kickball in gym. I was up and I tried to kick that damn ball so hard I missed it completely and ended up flat on my back, wind completely knocked out of me. My tears probably didn't help settle the laughter.
2. In 7th grade I used to do the really high bangs thing. I would tease and spray and curl until they were standing straight up by at least 2 inches with a sweet little half of them curled under. Well, my curling iron and aqua net combo ended in tragedy when the curling iron was trapped by the sticky spray in the web of my hair and in trying to wrestle it out I burned myself. I burned my forehead so badly the warning from the barrel of that curling iron was burned into my skin for all of IJH to laugh at.
3. In 8th grade I tripped down the stairs at a big sports stadium (used usually by a couple of high schools) one night while attending a track event I think. I fell face first and skid down a couple of stairs all while my boyfriend laughed on.
4. In 3rd grade I peed my pants in the classroom. We were all standing behind our desks waiting to be dismissed. I had my hand raised so urgently in the air but Mr. D would have none of that... that was until I peed. I have no idea if anyone laughed because I ran out of there so fast and locked myself in the bathroom until my Mom came to get me.
   

I think this calls for sharing. Bueller? Bueller? Somebody share something embarrassing so I'm not the only one for christ's sake!

losing lisa

I went to the Ben Folds show on Friday night and it reminded me of this story.

Years ago the little blue bird moved to a new pond. She felt scared and alone at this new pond but was excited to be out of the nest and on her own. One day a kind frog emerged from the pond curious as to what the little blue bird was all about. The bird opened her wings and flew this way and that hoping he would understand her. When he didn't she followed him into the water. Silly little blue bird had no idea she wasn't meant for that water. It started to pinch the air from her lungs until she was so scared she had to leave her kind frog and come up for some air. Her new friend worried about the little blue bird and followed her to the surface but she was lost in the trees. So the kind frog jumped to and fro for days waiting for the little blue bird to come back in hopes that she would understand him. Every now and again he thought he glimpsed her through the leaves and limbs but he couldn't quite jump high enough to reach her. They were both sad and alone. But even with heartbreak the story ends well because after years of trying that little blue bird and the kind frog when back to where they first met and shared a smile on the shoreline of their pond. It's as simple as that.


The lights are off again
She took me by surprise
She's so sensitive
This shit just happens sometimes
She's my everything
She's my best friend and more
We don't do anything
We didn't do the day
Before you go
You oughta know
That I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted you to know
Black tears are falling down her face
And I am wrong
Black tears are falling and she won't say what I've done
She's sitting here beside me, then she is gone
Black tears are falling, falling

Remember long ago
Together laughing, loving
Oh so long ago
When we were buying something
Life was simple then
But she's not happy now, and I
Don't feel anything
Her lips are moving
I am mesmerised
By tiny lies
I'm watching as the shapes are drawing slowly from her eyes

Black tears are falling down her face
And I am wrong
Black tears are falling and she won't say what I've done
She's sitting here beside me, then she is gone
Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling

Losing Lisa
Losing Lisa
Losing Lisa
And there's nothing I can do

Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling

let their faces shine

I want to apologize. I'm living in a bubble of self and being oblivious to the pain of others. I didn't mean to be such an insensitive jerk and I am so very sorry.
The U.S. is going through some tough times and the citizens of this great country are suffering immensely. The economic crisis is truly that - a crisis. Real and innocent people are losing their jobs, their homes, their sense of purpose and self.
It took an amazing woman posting a raw and honest depiction of reality for me to get my head out of the clouds. I don't know her outside of this blog world but I'm sure I know someone like her. Someone like my mother or my sister or my best friend who has done nothing but good and hard work their entire lives. But is still losing it all.
I wasn't thinking about what's really happening out there because like I said - I'm living in a bubble. I'm in an unusually comfortable spot and it really isn't fair. People who have done nothing to deserve the despare are suffering. So I am going to take a moment every day to be thankful for something I have that I'm taking for granted. Today I am thankful for the hope that our new P.E. Obama is bringing us all.

hint hint santa claus

I heart jewelery. What girl doesn't? Actually, this is new for me. I only started wearing bolder pieces about a year ago when I started my new job and decided that I could have an all new style persona here without judgment. So I went from converse to heels and diamond studs in my ears to bold stones around my neck. It's fun. I wouldn't mind getting something new from someone I loved either - wink, wink.

I know this is a bit out of anyone's price range but I love all things John Hardy, especially this necklace.

This necklace by Maison Martin Margiela is slightly more of a realistic hope (and there's a matching ring to it). I think it's such a cute design.

Right now I'm also really in love with this new chocolate diamond trend introduced by Le Vian. Some of my favorites are this cuff, pendant and ring.

One of the first things I bought myself when I started receiving a grown up paycheck was the circle Atlas pendant from the Tiffany's collection. I'm not a huge Tiffany's girl but I do love the Atlas designs. My Heart added to my collection one of the rings shortly after we started dating. I'd love one of the cube pieces to be the next addition. Particularly these little stud earrings.

But the piece I've been coveting the most for the past 5 years or so will probably never be mine... oh, how I adore it. The Tiffany's Spider Web Cuff.

(Isn't it amazing?)

follow the yellow brick road

My First Couple of Weeks in LA:

1. I was stopped at a red light when a women pulled up next to me and asked me for directions to Sepulveda. I had no idea what she was talking about. All I knew was that I was on Santa Monica and if I kept going West I would eventually get to the ocean. Wonder if she realized I had Colorado plates.
2. I held a door open at a lame chain restaurant for Kobe Bryant. He did not look down at me and he did not say anything to me. I thought it was rather rude of him and I've never forgiven him for it.

Today in LA:

1. I held the door open for 2 girls coming out of a trendy restaurant and they both thanked me. The second one even added, "so sweet." Manners are not dead.
2. Walking down the street a women parked her truck at a meter in front of me and got out to ask me directions. I knew exactly where she wanted to go and exactly how to get there. She was very grateful.

smooth granite heart

I saw this quote today and thought it was lovely so I'm sharing it.

"Every luxury must be paid for, and everything is a luxury, starting with the world."

- Cesare Pavese

Some of my luxuries:

• My freedom to live how I want to live
  
• My happiness
• My financial stability at the current time
• My family and friends (sometimes one in the same)
• My life

I'm grateful to be where I'm at right now. Sometimes it's a struggle but that's the price of life. In the end I think it makes everything worth it. I'm happy because I'm living out certain dreams I had for myself. I've moved somewhere I wanted to be to do something I wanted to do and it's been immensely rewarding mentally, financially, emotionally... personally. I've grown closer to my family in ways because of the distance. I've also accepted true friendships into my life - embracing them actually and nurturing them instead of the destruction I used to cause. I want the best for others even with my selfish nature over shadowing that sometimes. I need to remember that there is always a price to pay. I am not entitled anything. No one is. Hard work. Love. Determination. Peace.

once again it's infinite

Yesterday I walked past Friend C's new office and gasped at the beauty of the sunset sky out her window. That was after Friend J sent me Ho'oponopono and helped push the clouds a little further away.

Thank you.

I love you.

go to your room

Wow, I guess I opened up a can of worms yesterday. I'm sure it's no big deal and who knows if she's even right but here's some more info (guess it helps me deal anyway)...


I WARN YOU ALL NOW - THIS IS GOING TO GET IMMENSELY PERSONAL AND POSSIBLY EMBARRASSING SO IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT THEN STOP READING NOW!

ANSWERS:

Aunt M, I think it will help my body get back on a normal cycle.

Friend D, Yes, I might have multiple cysts on my ovaries which may make it difficult for me to have children in the future but is not life threatening in ANY way. I ate the carbs because I am self destructive.

Read on for more info...

During the months of July and August I bled for about four weeks. It would stop and then it would start right up again. I thought it was vacation. The stress of traveling. Turning 30. When we got home I ended up going off my birth control pill. It was only because the prescription ran out and I hadn't yet found a new doctor I was comfortable enough to go to. So when November rolled around and I still hadn't found a new doctor and I still hadn't been on the pill I realized that I also hadn't had my period in about 3 months. Now, I know what you're thinking but trust me I knew, there was no chance in hell that I was pregnant. I called a doctor's office I hadn't been to in 2 years and scheduled an appointment with some new lady. I figured it was worth a try.
She did the usual exam and also talked about the lack of period, the previous ultrasounds I had to have when the pain was unbearable, my hair growth (stupid mustache), the acne I've started to get (I know my skin looks perfect but I can feel them - and it's not paranoia) and the fact that I can't seem to lose the weight. All of these could be symptoms of PCOS which is not only cysts on your ovaries but also a hormonal imbalance. Part of that imbalance means not being able to properly digest carbohydrates. So along with referring me to another doctor for some additional tests she suggested I go off the carbs for 3 to 4 weeks to see how my body would react.
My mind reacted with a panic and sudden NEED for carbs. I figured the sandwich and mac & cheese was my last hurrah. I've had some bread and fruit here and there but I'm trying to be conscious of it. I happen to meet a new friend the day this all went down and she has PCOS. She said it's all about balance. Isn't everything?
Thing is - I don't really think I have this. But it would be nice to have some answers. Or would it be nice to have an excuse?

no one's gonna love you like i do

One of my doctors thinks I might have PCOS. She wants me to try and cut out carbs for the next 3 to 4 weeks. I immediately went out and had a sandwich with a side of pasta after she told me this. It could be my only hope but REALLY!?

soup should be eaten with a spoon

I found myself sitting at a table with 10 women last night; 7 were strangers, 1 was a new found friend and 2 were old friends. With these 10 unique and beautiful individuals I shared a meal and I shared a piece of my soul. I didn't open up as much as I wanted but I opened up more than I had anticipated. I was scared and alone admitting to lost wants. I realized there is a separation of self - who I think I am, who others think I am, who I am, who I want to be...

That dinner stirred emotions in me that have been bubbling to the top for some time now. The silly book I'm reading (twilight), the sounds of Sigur Ros on the quiet drive home, the thoughts swirling in my head. What are my needs right now? Why are they not being met? That feeling of falling in love. Is it lost forever? Have I thrown it away? It's been long forgotten and probably will never truly be forgiven. But is it the regret that is holding me back?

to help in a mind boggle

This is the new addiction at the office - apparently it helps to pass the time when it's slow and it's crazy!

The Impossible Quiz

did i tell you what she told me

PHEW! I have been slaving away at dinner ALL day - only 3 more hours to go!
Ok, really I bought a pre-seasoned pot roast from Trader Joes (cabernet pot roast) added some potatoes, carrots and onions to the crock-pot and let it go. I can't wait to get home tonight with the crisp fall air outside and the warm scent of slow cooking inside. I hope it turns out like this...

fearing that they will say yes

I hope you all vote today. Some places around town and around the country are giving away goods free to voters who show their sticker. Turns out there's controversy surrounding this because it's not exactly legal to reward someone for voting. I say go enjoy it anyway.

• Krispy Kreme is giving away a red, white and blue star doughnut.
• Ben and Jerry's is giving away a scoop of ice cream.
• Starbucks is giving away a tall coffee.

worm-like snail with no shell

Two things from this weekend...

SAD:
This girl dressed as Cindy McCain at the Halloween party on Friday night organized ordering pizza. This was around midnight when everyone was sufficiently drunk and hungry. She went around asking those who wanted in on this treat for a dollar towards the cost. I ran to the car to get my last $3 - one for me, one for My Heart and one for Friend R (who's pregnant I might add!). Cut to about 45 minutes later when I start getting antsy and wondering where the pizza is. Turns out it had arrived and was all gone. Stupid Cindy McCain only ordered 3 TINY pizzas for the ENTIRE party! I was pissed. People who don't know how to organize things shouldn't be put in charge of the pizza ordering.

HAPPY:
I spent yesterday shopping. I had a couple of returns at H&M so I decided to see if I could spend that money else where. When I got home My Heart and I continued the day of shopping at the grocery store. We went to Trader Joes as usual but decided to pick up a couple of additional items at the Ralphs across the street. This used to be a routine but we've since stopped going to Ralphs as often so it's been a while since I've been over there. They had this sign out front that said Grand Opening which confused me because they never closed. Well, walking in was grand indeed. The Ralphs had been remodeled so beautifully I couldn't get enough. It's very gourmet feeling now and I love it! Who knew I could get so excited over a grocery store's look? The only bad part was getting blood on my hands when handling the meat - blagh!