with brains mc-something

One of my sisters surprised me with a visit so I've been out of commission for a while.
I'm hoping to post my top ten of 2008 tomorrow so keep on waiting! XOXO

maybe more on the fringe

Did I mention that I kind of have Alice Cullen hair now? And I didn't even have to get a haircut! Since I try not to bring up twilight to often in front of my co-workers they have named it Josey and the Pussycats hair

but i was never a contender

I love the theater. It feels so alive and in turn makes me feel alive as if being in the audience really makes me a part of it. It oftentimes brings me to tears I am so moved by it's sincerity. Never is that more so than when I personally know someone performing on the stage.
When I was in the 8th grade a friend was the lead in Annie at the Pikes Peak Center. I saw her in that production at least 2 times and cried through every show. At that time not really understanding what had come over me and a bit embarrassed by it all.
On Friday My Heart and I went to see a friend perform as George Bailey in a local production of It's Wonderful Life. He was fantastic and the performance was heart wrenching. I think it only took all of 3 minutes before the waterworks started. I cried throughout the entire show. Sure it was partially the story and because it was the theater atmosphere in general but mainly it was because Friend J was on the stage and he brought it. Just like Annie all those years ago.

forget me not forgetful

The puppy bomb went off again (when am I going to learn!?). This time it destroyed my glasses. So I got new ones...

(Ted Baker Sunset)

These are the new ones. My old ones were very similar. They were a darker purple like this but these also have a green color on one side. It's hard to tell because they are so dark but trust me, they are green and purple.

Oh, and remember the last thing the puppy bomb destroyed? Well, I hated the replacements and sent them back. Still looking for the perfect sandal but luckily it's not urgent seeing as how it's winter and all.

sex scene stand in

Ok, so they were like professional grade actors (one flown in from Toronto) working on this short film of Friend S's. Professional grade actors who do not stand around and do what the DP or AD or Director is telling them to do while they set up the shot. No, professional grade actors have a rehearsal and then the real thing. None of the bullshit of walking through the motions so the lighting and the camera position are just right. No, of course not. That would be the PA's job. My job.
Shot One: I push male stand in onto bed, close door behind me, stumble to bed, climb on top of him... and sit there. I think we did this one about a dozen times.
Shot Two: I am straddling male stand in on the bed... lie down, sit up, lie down, sit up, lie down... sit up... This one lasted maybe 20 minutes or so because the art department had to be called in to dress the set behind us.
Fully clothed. Didn't have to speak or make any sounds. Just went through the basic movements. Male stand in was super nice about the awkward situation but it was still slightly uncomfortable. Like I said, anything for a friend... well, almost anything.

this sandwich is delicious

Friday night was both My Heart and my work holiday parties. I didn't rock my dream outfit but I was pretty cute regardless! I went with dark jeans, peep toes and a vest number - trust me, it worked. We had fun but not as much as could have had... I ran a 5k on Saturday morning so 2 glasses of champers was my limit. Although, I think My Heart wishes he had set some limits ;-)

The 5k on Saturday was great. I'm becoming a fan of these things. I ran it with Friend R because the rest of Team 5k and Tacos was either pregnant or had a broken foot. I hadn't been training because of a stupid cold (and laziness) but I still managed to finish in about the same amount of time as the last one. Next will be one in March. Oh, and I may do a triathlon with Friend R in August.

So Friend S is shooting this short or was shooting I should say. Sunday was the last day. Let me tell you, it was a full on production! I am so proud of Friend S for pulling this off. She had the idea and made it happen. Good for her! I helped out a little bit on Sunday when I was a P.A. for a day. I got to man craft services, run errands and be a stand in (during the sex scene - awkward!). Anything for a friend.

CONGRATULATIONS TO FRIENDS S & B ON THE ENGAGEMENT!

CONGRATULATIONS TO TEAM AE ON THE BABY GIRL!

where were you on the night of 10.24.07

YAY to the 200th post!

for you again

(Print by Christopher David Ryan)

swallow this whole

This post is for Friend D because we don't talk enough and he's always posting such insightful comments and because I really am grateful to have him back in my life. Love you D.

I am finally coming out of my intense period of introspection to find that I am basically the same person who went into it. Nothing significant has changed but maybe that wasn't the point. Smaller might actually be bigger. The question of, "what do you do now that you've accomplished your goals (and then some)," not fully answered but just there - staring you in the face so that you have to at least address it. I guess you make new goals is what I've come up with. Once you reach this place in life where you aren't so much growing up but just growing it's harder to think about goals.

Maybe we are naive to think that there has to be more. Maybe less is more. Our fighting to survive isn't about the threat of livelihood. Our fight is more about finding outlets which will define our character, our nature. We have the creature comforts we need on a day to day basis but somehow for us, that is not enough. Others may say we are spoiled for thinking this way and not accepting what we have as sufficient. But I say no, we are not - because each and every day we are thankful for the pieces of our lives. The moment you forget you are owed nothing in this world is the moment you lose everything.

So now I'm going to focus more on the small. I want to fill my life with the pieces of the 100 things on my list; knitting, traveling, French, painting, writing, etc. I want to have fulfillment beyond these four walls - I want to fill in my soul. I think that means getting out of my brain for a while and just feeling. Maybe just being. Kant may have something there...

Reading back on my blog I realize this is a continues cycle, some times great and some times minute but always coming back around. I'm positive it's not over but maybe just at the apsis of my circle of angst. It's nice to know I'm not just floating out there alone what with my inner turmoil!

By the by, I think librarianship has you written all over it. I'm loving it! Wishing you an over-flowing stocking this holiday season XOXO

with cookies and soy milk

Best Friend G sent me an email yesterday sharing something special that the Xerox company is doing for our troops in Iraq. You can go to this website and pick a post card to write a personal message to those sacrificing for us. Xerox will then print it and deliver it for you. Kind of a neat thing to do this time of year.

(Click on the image to be taken to the website)

put your fur pants on

As many of you are well aware, I am a crazy pet parent. Yes, I own outfits for my "kids" and we include photos of them dressed up in our holiday cards. We have also gone so far as to give Grandma and Grandpa an ornament featuring their "grandkids" for Christmas. Furry kids are the best. I think My Heart would appreciate this then:

Ok, so it's not real. It's just a box you can buy from the Onion. It's supposed to be funny - so laugh. My Heart will totally think I was the nutty pet mom who went all out for the dog this year!

jodi's got nothing but mustard

There's this show we're doing some work on and being intrigued by what I was seeing I went ahead and I watched the 11 episodes we have available to us right now just to see what it was like. I thought I might like it because it has the word teenage in the title and I love anything teenage.

It's hard to explain exactly what it was like. A little preachy. A little racy. A little over the top. A little boring (but I still watched everything I could get my hands on). Early adolescence colliding with adulthood. It's scary and cheesy. A young girl finds herself pregnant after her first sexual experience with the drummer from the school band who's now sleeping with school slut but trying to hook up with the school crazy Christian who's football player boyfriend slept with the school slut after his girlfriend started wearing a promise ring but not to worry because one of the nice guys loves the pregnant girl and wants to marry her. Huh? Exactly.

The best thing about the show is the Sausage King. This rich, widowed, jolly father of the boy who loves the pregnant girl. He seems to always have this keen wisdom on every situation whether it involves said teenagers or their parents. My favorite thing out of the Sausage King's mouth so far, "Just live with it." So profound yet so simple. Thank you Sausage King, you are right yet again.

Think about it people...

super anti whatever

I was lying (laying?) in bed last night, not able to sleep, when I came up with how I was going to break the silence and finally write something new. Sitting at the computer today I'm drawing a blank. I think it had something to do with the pressure of coming back after a hiatus but I'm not sure exactly.

I haven't known what to write about so I haven't forced it. Also, once you're gone so long there is this looming anxiety of coming back. Do you just jump back in it? How? Do you apologize? Why really - isn't blogging more about personal gratification than pleasing others? Sure it's nice to entertain what readers I may have and I do want people to keep coming back for more. In all reality, I am missing this part of me so I figured I should just come back and find it again. So here I am.

On the phone with Mom yesterday I didn't have much to say even though we hadn't talked for a while. I told her I was boring. I no longer want to be boring! It's going to take a little time for that to change so bare with me here. I promise I'll be back sooner rather than later and a lot less boring.

today or just lately

I am feeling uninspired.

the cookie on my desk

Today I created a group on facebook to reconnect old co-workers. Should be interesting...

Yesterday I went with a friend to a show as a good friend should. It was very interesting...

Tomorrow I need to go shopping for the ingredients for my Thanksgiving dishes. I'm so not interested...

belle époque

Party Time by theblogoholicgirl

(Is it wrong to want to look this good at the company holiday party!?)

don't cry for me argentina

Had dinner at Pink Taco last night with team 5k and tacos. Friend K hobbled in with her newly found broken foot. I assumed it was from playing on her coed kickball team but I would be wrong. It reminded me of a post I was going to do a while ago about some of my most fondly looked back on but all too embarrassing moments. In no particular order...

1. In 1st grade (I think) we were playing kickball in gym. I was up and I tried to kick that damn ball so hard I missed it completely and ended up flat on my back, wind completely knocked out of me. My tears probably didn't help settle the laughter.
2. In 7th grade I used to do the really high bangs thing. I would tease and spray and curl until they were standing straight up by at least 2 inches with a sweet little half of them curled under. Well, my curling iron and aqua net combo ended in tragedy when the curling iron was trapped by the sticky spray in the web of my hair and in trying to wrestle it out I burned myself. I burned my forehead so badly the warning from the barrel of that curling iron was burned into my skin for all of IJH to laugh at.
3. In 8th grade I tripped down the stairs at a big sports stadium (used usually by a couple of high schools) one night while attending a track event I think. I fell face first and skid down a couple of stairs all while my boyfriend laughed on.
4. In 3rd grade I peed my pants in the classroom. We were all standing behind our desks waiting to be dismissed. I had my hand raised so urgently in the air but Mr. D would have none of that... that was until I peed. I have no idea if anyone laughed because I ran out of there so fast and locked myself in the bathroom until my Mom came to get me.
   

I think this calls for sharing. Bueller? Bueller? Somebody share something embarrassing so I'm not the only one for christ's sake!

losing lisa

I went to the Ben Folds show on Friday night and it reminded me of this story.

Years ago the little blue bird moved to a new pond. She felt scared and alone at this new pond but was excited to be out of the nest and on her own. One day a kind frog emerged from the pond curious as to what the little blue bird was all about. The bird opened her wings and flew this way and that hoping he would understand her. When he didn't she followed him into the water. Silly little blue bird had no idea she wasn't meant for that water. It started to pinch the air from her lungs until she was so scared she had to leave her kind frog and come up for some air. Her new friend worried about the little blue bird and followed her to the surface but she was lost in the trees. So the kind frog jumped to and fro for days waiting for the little blue bird to come back in hopes that she would understand him. Every now and again he thought he glimpsed her through the leaves and limbs but he couldn't quite jump high enough to reach her. They were both sad and alone. But even with heartbreak the story ends well because after years of trying that little blue bird and the kind frog when back to where they first met and shared a smile on the shoreline of their pond. It's as simple as that.


The lights are off again
She took me by surprise
She's so sensitive
This shit just happens sometimes
She's my everything
She's my best friend and more
We don't do anything
We didn't do the day
Before you go
You oughta know
That I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted you to know
Black tears are falling down her face
And I am wrong
Black tears are falling and she won't say what I've done
She's sitting here beside me, then she is gone
Black tears are falling, falling

Remember long ago
Together laughing, loving
Oh so long ago
When we were buying something
Life was simple then
But she's not happy now, and I
Don't feel anything
Her lips are moving
I am mesmerised
By tiny lies
I'm watching as the shapes are drawing slowly from her eyes

Black tears are falling down her face
And I am wrong
Black tears are falling and she won't say what I've done
She's sitting here beside me, then she is gone
Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling

Losing Lisa
Losing Lisa
Losing Lisa
And there's nothing I can do

Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling
Black tears are falling, falling

let their faces shine

I want to apologize. I'm living in a bubble of self and being oblivious to the pain of others. I didn't mean to be such an insensitive jerk and I am so very sorry.
The U.S. is going through some tough times and the citizens of this great country are suffering immensely. The economic crisis is truly that - a crisis. Real and innocent people are losing their jobs, their homes, their sense of purpose and self.
It took an amazing woman posting a raw and honest depiction of reality for me to get my head out of the clouds. I don't know her outside of this blog world but I'm sure I know someone like her. Someone like my mother or my sister or my best friend who has done nothing but good and hard work their entire lives. But is still losing it all.
I wasn't thinking about what's really happening out there because like I said - I'm living in a bubble. I'm in an unusually comfortable spot and it really isn't fair. People who have done nothing to deserve the despare are suffering. So I am going to take a moment every day to be thankful for something I have that I'm taking for granted. Today I am thankful for the hope that our new P.E. Obama is bringing us all.

hint hint santa claus

I heart jewelery. What girl doesn't? Actually, this is new for me. I only started wearing bolder pieces about a year ago when I started my new job and decided that I could have an all new style persona here without judgment. So I went from converse to heels and diamond studs in my ears to bold stones around my neck. It's fun. I wouldn't mind getting something new from someone I loved either - wink, wink.

I know this is a bit out of anyone's price range but I love all things John Hardy, especially this necklace.

This necklace by Maison Martin Margiela is slightly more of a realistic hope (and there's a matching ring to it). I think it's such a cute design.

Right now I'm also really in love with this new chocolate diamond trend introduced by Le Vian. Some of my favorites are this cuff, pendant and ring.

One of the first things I bought myself when I started receiving a grown up paycheck was the circle Atlas pendant from the Tiffany's collection. I'm not a huge Tiffany's girl but I do love the Atlas designs. My Heart added to my collection one of the rings shortly after we started dating. I'd love one of the cube pieces to be the next addition. Particularly these little stud earrings.

But the piece I've been coveting the most for the past 5 years or so will probably never be mine... oh, how I adore it. The Tiffany's Spider Web Cuff.

(Isn't it amazing?)

follow the yellow brick road

My First Couple of Weeks in LA:

1. I was stopped at a red light when a women pulled up next to me and asked me for directions to Sepulveda. I had no idea what she was talking about. All I knew was that I was on Santa Monica and if I kept going West I would eventually get to the ocean. Wonder if she realized I had Colorado plates.
2. I held a door open at a lame chain restaurant for Kobe Bryant. He did not look down at me and he did not say anything to me. I thought it was rather rude of him and I've never forgiven him for it.

Today in LA:

1. I held the door open for 2 girls coming out of a trendy restaurant and they both thanked me. The second one even added, "so sweet." Manners are not dead.
2. Walking down the street a women parked her truck at a meter in front of me and got out to ask me directions. I knew exactly where she wanted to go and exactly how to get there. She was very grateful.

smooth granite heart

I saw this quote today and thought it was lovely so I'm sharing it.

"Every luxury must be paid for, and everything is a luxury, starting with the world."

- Cesare Pavese

Some of my luxuries:

• My freedom to live how I want to live
  
• My happiness
• My financial stability at the current time
• My family and friends (sometimes one in the same)
• My life

I'm grateful to be where I'm at right now. Sometimes it's a struggle but that's the price of life. In the end I think it makes everything worth it. I'm happy because I'm living out certain dreams I had for myself. I've moved somewhere I wanted to be to do something I wanted to do and it's been immensely rewarding mentally, financially, emotionally... personally. I've grown closer to my family in ways because of the distance. I've also accepted true friendships into my life - embracing them actually and nurturing them instead of the destruction I used to cause. I want the best for others even with my selfish nature over shadowing that sometimes. I need to remember that there is always a price to pay. I am not entitled anything. No one is. Hard work. Love. Determination. Peace.

once again it's infinite

Yesterday I walked past Friend C's new office and gasped at the beauty of the sunset sky out her window. That was after Friend J sent me Ho'oponopono and helped push the clouds a little further away.

Thank you.

I love you.

go to your room

Wow, I guess I opened up a can of worms yesterday. I'm sure it's no big deal and who knows if she's even right but here's some more info (guess it helps me deal anyway)...


I WARN YOU ALL NOW - THIS IS GOING TO GET IMMENSELY PERSONAL AND POSSIBLY EMBARRASSING SO IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT THEN STOP READING NOW!

ANSWERS:

Aunt M, I think it will help my body get back on a normal cycle.

Friend D, Yes, I might have multiple cysts on my ovaries which may make it difficult for me to have children in the future but is not life threatening in ANY way. I ate the carbs because I am self destructive.

Read on for more info...

During the months of July and August I bled for about four weeks. It would stop and then it would start right up again. I thought it was vacation. The stress of traveling. Turning 30. When we got home I ended up going off my birth control pill. It was only because the prescription ran out and I hadn't yet found a new doctor I was comfortable enough to go to. So when November rolled around and I still hadn't found a new doctor and I still hadn't been on the pill I realized that I also hadn't had my period in about 3 months. Now, I know what you're thinking but trust me I knew, there was no chance in hell that I was pregnant. I called a doctor's office I hadn't been to in 2 years and scheduled an appointment with some new lady. I figured it was worth a try.
She did the usual exam and also talked about the lack of period, the previous ultrasounds I had to have when the pain was unbearable, my hair growth (stupid mustache), the acne I've started to get (I know my skin looks perfect but I can feel them - and it's not paranoia) and the fact that I can't seem to lose the weight. All of these could be symptoms of PCOS which is not only cysts on your ovaries but also a hormonal imbalance. Part of that imbalance means not being able to properly digest carbohydrates. So along with referring me to another doctor for some additional tests she suggested I go off the carbs for 3 to 4 weeks to see how my body would react.
My mind reacted with a panic and sudden NEED for carbs. I figured the sandwich and mac & cheese was my last hurrah. I've had some bread and fruit here and there but I'm trying to be conscious of it. I happen to meet a new friend the day this all went down and she has PCOS. She said it's all about balance. Isn't everything?
Thing is - I don't really think I have this. But it would be nice to have some answers. Or would it be nice to have an excuse?

no one's gonna love you like i do

One of my doctors thinks I might have PCOS. She wants me to try and cut out carbs for the next 3 to 4 weeks. I immediately went out and had a sandwich with a side of pasta after she told me this. It could be my only hope but REALLY!?

soup should be eaten with a spoon

I found myself sitting at a table with 10 women last night; 7 were strangers, 1 was a new found friend and 2 were old friends. With these 10 unique and beautiful individuals I shared a meal and I shared a piece of my soul. I didn't open up as much as I wanted but I opened up more than I had anticipated. I was scared and alone admitting to lost wants. I realized there is a separation of self - who I think I am, who others think I am, who I am, who I want to be...

That dinner stirred emotions in me that have been bubbling to the top for some time now. The silly book I'm reading (twilight), the sounds of Sigur Ros on the quiet drive home, the thoughts swirling in my head. What are my needs right now? Why are they not being met? That feeling of falling in love. Is it lost forever? Have I thrown it away? It's been long forgotten and probably will never truly be forgiven. But is it the regret that is holding me back?

to help in a mind boggle

This is the new addiction at the office - apparently it helps to pass the time when it's slow and it's crazy!

The Impossible Quiz

did i tell you what she told me

PHEW! I have been slaving away at dinner ALL day - only 3 more hours to go!
Ok, really I bought a pre-seasoned pot roast from Trader Joes (cabernet pot roast) added some potatoes, carrots and onions to the crock-pot and let it go. I can't wait to get home tonight with the crisp fall air outside and the warm scent of slow cooking inside. I hope it turns out like this...

fearing that they will say yes

I hope you all vote today. Some places around town and around the country are giving away goods free to voters who show their sticker. Turns out there's controversy surrounding this because it's not exactly legal to reward someone for voting. I say go enjoy it anyway.

• Krispy Kreme is giving away a red, white and blue star doughnut.
• Ben and Jerry's is giving away a scoop of ice cream.
• Starbucks is giving away a tall coffee.

worm-like snail with no shell

Two things from this weekend...

SAD:
This girl dressed as Cindy McCain at the Halloween party on Friday night organized ordering pizza. This was around midnight when everyone was sufficiently drunk and hungry. She went around asking those who wanted in on this treat for a dollar towards the cost. I ran to the car to get my last $3 - one for me, one for My Heart and one for Friend R (who's pregnant I might add!). Cut to about 45 minutes later when I start getting antsy and wondering where the pizza is. Turns out it had arrived and was all gone. Stupid Cindy McCain only ordered 3 TINY pizzas for the ENTIRE party! I was pissed. People who don't know how to organize things shouldn't be put in charge of the pizza ordering.

HAPPY:
I spent yesterday shopping. I had a couple of returns at H&M so I decided to see if I could spend that money else where. When I got home My Heart and I continued the day of shopping at the grocery store. We went to Trader Joes as usual but decided to pick up a couple of additional items at the Ralphs across the street. This used to be a routine but we've since stopped going to Ralphs as often so it's been a while since I've been over there. They had this sign out front that said Grand Opening which confused me because they never closed. Well, walking in was grand indeed. The Ralphs had been remodeled so beautifully I couldn't get enough. It's very gourmet feeling now and I love it! Who knew I could get so excited over a grocery store's look? The only bad part was getting blood on my hands when handling the meat - blagh!

a nice shiny penny

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

What are you dressed up as today?
I'm doing the geisha thing at werk (maybe adding the vampire geisha effect for our costume contest) and doing the original Night of the Living Dead zombie with My Heart tonight - all 50s dress with zombie make-up but completely black & white just like the movie! I Heart Halloween.

(This if from the original year of the geisha - frat row, including My Heart, were sailors so it only seemed natural.)

from the cloud of dust

I have never really had any interest in any of Clint Eastwood's movies and so I have never seen one. Also, I like Angelina but would not classify myself as a huge fan or even a fan really. I think it was more the story line and the period of Los Angeles that made me want to see Changeling.

My Heart and I went to a preview screening of it last night and let me tell you, I was blown away. I find it amazing that such a story has been buried beneath the history of the city of angels. I am not usually one for period pieces but 20s and 30s LA intrigues me. And this film did not disappoint. Mrs. Pitt did an outstanding job (and had some killer wardrobe!). The effects were so convincing I felt like I was looking into the past at what has become my home.

Albeit it was a Clint Eastwood movie and I've been told they are slow moving almost to the point of boring. Changeling was drawn out and long (over 2 hours) but it kept moving and definitely kept me interested. More than once I was moved to the point of tears. I suggest you take the time for this one - the Oscar buzz, in my opinion, isn't hype.

my ideeli surprise

How much do you heart these shoes!?

marc by marc jacobs - CASSIE

dancing under the light of the tower

I'm not one for long nails and I'm not usually one for nail polish. But sometimes I go get my nails did to feel like I'm taking care of myself. I particularly love short nails with a dark color.

O P I has some awesome colors in their new Fall/Winter Collection - Le Collection De France - that I'm really into, especially...

her closet was our wonderland

Weird that yesterday I was trying to get a hold of my Mom but couldn't so when I was writing my post I thought I'd put a shout out to her. Of course she called today (not weird).
Weird again is that Mom needs change too - big change - but she's not sure what... she didn't even read yesterday's post. What's going on?

So this past weekend I was hanging out with Friend A (of Team AE) doing girl stuff; movie, lunch, shopping and a baby shower. We happened to be near the Kate Spade store so we went in to see My Bag... you know... the one I didn't get? Well, it was GONE! AND they were having a friends and family sale! Apparently I now qualified as a either a friend or family.
Sad day turned happy, my new friends (or family) at Kate Spade searched all the surrounding stores until they had located my bag in Topanga or some other far off land. So I got the bag.
Aunt M was right, why not both? It arrived today and it couldn't be more perfect.
Wierd = the card inside had a little quote on it:

"she thought of her aunt often...
patent boots, cherry red lipstick,
and forever mischievous."

has anyone talked to my mom lately

Someone recently told me that being content is the worst way to go through life. I think all my contentment is making me restless and I don't know what to do.

I do not hate nor love living in LA.
But I really want to live in NYC.

Being a finisher still has it's drawbacks but I love who I work for.
I don't want to risk leaving this place for nothing.

Our apartment is cleaner and slightly more organized which makes it just a tad bit more tolerable but it's no new house. Is right now really the time to be buying a new house?

I've been hanging out with the girls more and doing for me again which is interesting. I think I'd like to explore that further but not sure exactly how right now.

I need a change - a big change - but what?

the gift of paper

Happy One Year Blogiversary to me by the way!

I'd like to send my self a special gift like one of these books from Pepe's Paperie.
(Thanks for sharing Aunt M!)

downward dog

I'm being told...

Your mind is going to wander, today, and unfortunately sometimes at very inopportune times. This is most likely a sign that you are moving into a phase when you are going to be more introverted than usual. You're not quite connecting with other people at the level you would like to, so it's appealing to just go off on your own for a while. But late in the day you'll receive an invitation, and it's one you should accept. This event could hold the key to many major opportunities.

So true. Now I'm just waiting for that invitation. Or was that what lunch was today?

if the rain in spain fell on my brain

Today...

Tofu skins are delicious (mmm dinner).
Cupcakes are delicious (mmm lunch).
Stupid people are not (eww, every day).

My hair is in an annoying awkward stage (thank god for headbands).
My running regime is in an annoying awkward stage (next 5k in just over a month).
My job is not (things are pretty good).

Enjoyed the Kings game on Monday night because the Avs beat them (thanks Team AE).
Enjoyed dinner with the girls on Tuesday night because they are all so amazing (XOXO).
Do not enjoy the traffic on my commute some days (like today).

Saturday I will go see a movie with Friend A (of Team AE).
Saturday I will go celebrate baby Charbyn (at Friend R's baby shower).
Saturday I will play football (with the Orange Team).

Sunday I will probably do nothing.

Tomorrow is Friday!

What are you doing this weekend?

the only bomb to drop

A couple of Spring seasons ago I bought this amazing fuschia pink bouncy peasant skirt that I absolutely adore. I decided I needed a pretty pair of thongs (shoes you sicko) to go with it. I had an idea of the style I wanted - multiple leather straps that all connected to a metal circle in the middle. After months of searching I found an Anne Klein New York sandal that was as close as I was going to get to my ideal. I loved that sandal. Yesterday My Heart came home to this...

So today I bought this...

I don't love it but probably because I'm still upset that the puppy bomb went off in my closet and took something I wasn't ready to part with. I know it's just a shoe but it was my shoe and I am going to miss it. I'm sure I will eventually love my Bernardo's just as much.

we remember when snow fell

#15 Get married in Ireland (or at least visit it!)

#7 Celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary

#26 Ride a Vespa

#35 Take a ballet class

#10 Create photo albums (Hawaii, Torino, Down Under, M&M)

they make the shoes at night

There's this little tradition I started when I moved to LA. Every year I go see The Nightmare Before Christmas at the El Capitan. It's this old theater in Hollywood owned by Disney. And I love it.
Last week My Heart surprised me with tickets to the first night's showing (which is tonight).
He also told me he had another surprise but wouldn't tell me what. I had my suspicions since I had also been hinting about going to see the Nutcracker this year. I've always loved the Nutcracker and one of the theaters near our house is doing a performance of it. Since we're not going home for the holidays I thought it would be a sweet thing to do together.
So the other night, to trick him into revealing whether or not it was tickets to this show he had bought as my second surprise, I came home and told him I had bought tickets. The look on his face said it all and I couldn't help but laugh. I'm sorry My Heart but you know how I love a good surprise - for about 2 seconds and then I just HAVE to know what it is! Thank you :-)

life isn't fair

I was sent this link yesterday after a discussion on how ridiculous the Pro Prop 8 ads have been here in California. I think these are much smarter. Then again, I'm kinda biased...

No on Prop 8

small wonder

Today is the family's last day of vacation in Southern California. Tomorrow they fly home to beautiful Colorado where it really is Fall (damn you 90 degree weather!).
So Dad and his wife drove out to Hollywood to see where the magic is made. Sadly, it's in a dumpy alley off Cahuenga (ok, ok, it's not that bad). But we did head over to Hollywood and Highland to check out where My Heart works and grab a bite to eat.
We ended up at this newer place we had never tried called uWink. Weirdest lunch experience ever. No waiter just a computer. Everything, anything you need you find on this touch screen and order it up. Worst part, you are still expected to tip. Best part, there are also games on the touch screen. Good food but kind of like working for your meal.

when the goose jumps the fence

Apparently I missed a little excitement at the office on Friday because some famous guy came in to read a couple of scripts for a movie we're working on. Lucky for me, he came in again last night to read and I was still here.
I have had a long standing sort of crush on this person. I think it's the dry, witty sense of humor and the Airwalks with suits attire. Oftentimes I've been told I'm crazy for feeling this way but I think I'm starting to change my mind anyway...

gearing up for what's ahead

I have been a busy girL this weekend, the family is in town. They arrived on Thursday but are staying in Orange County so we didn't meet up with them until Friday. My Heart and I both took the day off to join them at Disneyland. It was such a great time! I had worried that by starting out at 8am the kids would be too tired to make it to the fireworks show at 9:3opm - boy was I wrong! 15 hours at Disneyland and they wanted more! It's amazing how contagious a sense of wonderment and excitement can be.

Saturday was a quieter and colder day (YAY FINALLY!) and of course we spent it at the beach. It wasn't very inviting but we made the best of it. Ran in to Friends C & J and got to introduce my Dad to them (eventually - sorry about that!). AND... the best part of all... My Heart and I played in our first coed touch football game!!! It was so much more fun than I had anticipated. We are the Orange team (Multiple Scoregasms) and the Orange team kicked some butt winning the first game of the season. Whoo hoo - go us. Friend J was awesome on the field beating out some of the boys even! I need some practice but did take a stiff arm to the face from some dude and was still able to tackle him.

Yesterday was more amusement park fun at Universal Studios with the whole fam except for My Heart (damn back again). We also had a nice sushi dinner before heading off to Griffith Park. It's interesting to see how much my Dad has changed over the years. He rode rides and ate sushi - who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks!?

It's good to be at work today though, I needed a break from my staycation.

if we can't save ourselves

Thank you Friend S for sending this my way... I encourage and invite all of you, my friends, to join.

INVITE A FRIEND

I just joined the Love/Avon Army of Women — and you should, too!

The Love/Avon Army of Women offers women the opportunity to partner with the scientists who are conducting research that will end this disease--once and for all.

Breast cancer has been around for decades, but it does not have to be our future. We can be the generation that stops breast cancer once and for all by figuring out what causes this disease and how to prevent it!

Sign up for your sister, mother, daughter, granddaughter, best friend, and the woman you met last week. This is YOUR chance to be part of the research that will end breast cancer.

It takes a just a minute to join. But the impact we will have will last a lifetime.

Please Join Me in Being One in a Million!

www.armyofwomen.org

the dusty pit of my stomach

Today, for the first time in my life, I have people cleaning my house for me. It was a long time coming but I didn't realize how difficult it would be to actually let it happen.

To start - our place is a mess. As I have described it many a time, it's a storage unit. My one bedroom apartment was supposed to be our temporary living situation but is now going on 2 years I think. Both our stuff just doesn't fit and we sit on a bed for a couch for god's sake!

Plus, we have 3 animals living with us who are little dirt balls - their fur just adds to the already dusty decor.

And to top it all off, we're lazy.

So cut to today... I had called a service I found on Yelp and they agreed to come by this morning and do a one time job for a pretty cheap rate. If I like the work I can schedule regular cleanings. 3 people showed up a little after 10am and got right to it. I left a check and left the house.

Problem is, I'm terrified something is going to go wrong. Maybe they won't really clean - just take my money and run. Maybe they'll take more than my money and run. And what about my little animals? Maybe they'll let them out and something terrible will happen. Ugh, I want to trust my instincts and say that everything is going to be fine but I think I'm a paranoid person because all my instincts are saying is, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?"

the grouch has got some brains

If you haven't seen the movie Once may I suggest you take the time to do so.
I had the privilege (along with My Heart) of seeing the leads of this film perform with their band on Saturday night at The Greek Theater. As Friend J (who also attended said show) put it - it was amazing, mesmerizing, incredible, stupendous. I had to one up him and add - POSSIBLY LIFE CHANGING (maybe more on that later). This article in the Hollywood Reporter shares a little more insight:

Oscar-winning duo mix old, new at L.A. show

By Darryl Morden Tue Oct 7, 6:07 AM ET

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Most artists would save their best-known song -- an Oscar-winning song, yet -- for the end of a show or an encore. But not the Swell Season's Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova.

Opening Saturday's show at the Greek Theater in Los Angeles with an inviting cover of Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic," the duo followed with "Falling Slowly," the Academy Award-winning best original song from last year's "Once," in which the pair co-starred. And the audience was delighted.

As they were joined by musicians including members of Hansard's band the Frames, there was much to come during a richly giving performance that stretched for more than two hours, ranging from additional cover songs and new material to guest appearances.

Centered on the strums of Hansard's battered old acoustic guitar and Irglova's lullaby-like, lyrical piano, with embellishments of electric guitar, violin, bass and drums, the music was aching and elegant, heartfelt and soulful. Most of all, it tapped into the essence of our fragile relationships with one another and the world.

In concert, Irishman Hansard is the focal point, his gift of glib gab and wry humor between numbers part of what makes him so engaging, along with his raw-nerve-exposed taunt vocals. A solo segment found him stepping away from the microphone to sing the pleading "Say It to Me Now" "unplugged," and he furiously based away at his guitar strings for a soul-purging take on Morrison's "Astral Weeks."

Czech songstress Irglova offered gentle charm when she moved from her piano to the center-stage spotlight for lead vocals, and she played some acoustic guitar.

The set ranged from the jagged self-examination of "The Moon," about losing one's way in life, to the soaring waltz of resignation in "When Your Mind's Made Up" to the ringing pop of the new track "Maybe I Was Born to Hold You in These Arms."

Among the night's surprises were "Once" writer-director and former Frames member John Carney sitting in on bass for the film's title song, Disney's Richard Sherman of the Sherman Brothers leading the group in "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from "Mary Poppins" and Sam Beam of opener Iron & Wine joining for Neil Young's "Out on the Weekend."

The rising success of the Swell Season is heartening, the band's organic, crafted music defying the conventions of calculated pop marketing.

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

is this glass over flowing

It rained on Saturday.
We ate at this really great, really European cafe as it was raining.
It felt good.

I've had cupcakes today.
I ate a red velvet half and then this amazing vanilla half on recommendation.
It felt good.

I'm at a weird crossroads in facing my own self awareness.
Who I am. Who I want to be.
Where I am. Where I want to be.

I have a quote on my desktop that says:
"Happiness is a place between too little and too much." - Finnish Proverb

Maybe I have too much?

all brats go to heaven

I wanted this...



I got this...

all is not fine

Last night I had dinner with Friend C at a place 2 blocks from my office. I walked up there at about 7:45pm and it was pretty dark and slightly scary for like half a block. That's when 2 cops on horses passed me and I felt like everything was ok. Everything was ok until I looked down from those horses and realized there was a trail of shit on the sidewalk for at least 10 feet. It was big. It was gross. And it got me thinking, who cleans that shit up?

for the good of all mankind

I check a small list of blogs every day - sometimes multiple times a day. Don't ask why (you've read the name of this blog right?). One out of the 4 that I check every day but have yet to add to my currently list is the fab I *Heart* You. Yesterday she had this up and it not only made me smile, it moved me so much that I thought it only right to share it with you...

organized schmorganized

Um, hello? Where have I been?

During Sunday football I was flipping through the new In Style and found an add for a TV show on TLC called Real Simple. Real Life. brought to us by one of my favorite magazines.

I just Googled it and found that PBS has been airing a show called Real Simple TV for 2 season already and is about to start the 3rd. This show is more like the actual magazine where as the new show is a reality makeover type thing.

How did I not know this? How did I not know that one of my favorite magazines that actually helps me survive life is a PBS TV show?

Well, I will be adding both to my DVR tonight.

I leave you with today's daily thought from realsimple.com

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
-Stephen R. Covey

P.S.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY Birthday to Friends ME & SB!!!
Much love to you both
XOXO

let the fog roll in

The heat has reared it's ugly head again and it's monstrous. Someone told me that the seasons change in his heart - that's because we live in LA and every season is the same. I'm sorry, but fuck this 90 degree weather we're having. It makes me cranky. It makes me lazy. Last night we took a late night walk and it was still hot out! I'm losing my mind...

It must be the heat but I'm feeling pretty crappy of late. You ever get to that point where you're done trying? You try so hard each and every day that it's gotta come to an end eventually. Or someone's gotta start giving you something back to help refuel maybe.

I know I can be bitchy - I am not necessarily a bitch but yes, I am bitchy. But I come to work every day with a pretty damn good attitude and I know it's my job to make other people's lives just that much easier. Well then, quit bitching! Give me a little something to work with here. It's tough for me too you know. We choose to be here so suck it up!

And I may be a bit selfish at times but I am a damn good girlfriend. Show me that it matters, that I matter. I want to feel the adoration every single fucking day - I know it's hard work but nothing comes easy. We're a team and we've gotta keep practicing to stay in this game.

Here's where I need to put in some major work of my own (I'm not afraid to admit it); spending time outside of my cocoon. If I step forward and start making this effort then I want you to do the same. Let's not say we're going to do a Sunday dinner and then never do it. Let's actually run that next 5k and have those drinks and get that dinner. My first step - yes, I am going to play coed touch football with you Friend J. I have signed up, paid my $75 and I am committed damn it! So the rest of you commit and let's have some fun already.

Phew, that felt good... sorry to be so bitchy but it's this heat I'm telling you.

finding the clearing

I have been so consumed with work lately. I knew what I was getting myself into when I started back in the business - but I feel like I'm losing touch. So I wanted to remind you (and me) that...

• I have a great partner/teammate in My Heart.
• Dogs will love you no matter what and are really great to come home to (when they haven't pooped in the house).
• Los Angeles can be an exciting place to live.
• Sometimes shopping really does help.
• Diamonds aren't always a girl's best friend - it's nice to have real girlfriends to fall back on.
• The right shoes can make almost any outfit killer.
• The heat will end eventually.
• The holidays are not about buying or receiving presents.
• Hobbies help to define who you are as a person.
• I love photography.
• Life is too short not to follow up on those dinner plans.
• Not all people suck.

the hyper hypo

My Heart planned a day out for us last weekend that started with breakfast at a new little place we've been eyeing, included roller coasters and knee socks and ended with this discovery:

It was a virtual wonderland of candy! The bright, bold and colorful enticing the senses brought so much joy - I was literally a kid in a candy shop!

My favorites are probably the gummy bears (since I am a bear).

Or maybe this display case - it was gorgeous! I would have been happy with any one of these treats.

I loved the non-edible sugar they had too (reminds me of my days as Sugar). Maybe someone will surprise me with something...

Is it so wrong that I needed to see up her skirt???

Teehee!

In the end, My Heart found his favorites and so we took home a little sugar treasure of our own.



(Gummy Cokes)
(And thank you My Heart for lending me your precious iPhone to document this)

for what it's worth

I don't know if it's actually critical but it's interesting.
It's a PBS online poll that is asking one question, "Is Palin qualified to be VP?"
What do you think...

http://www.pbs.org/now/polls/poll-435.html



And don't forget to vote - now that is critical!

little lace socks

Oh Glamour, aren't you just so cute!

10 Ways to Be an Even Better Friend

Want to ensure your friends can go to you for anything? Here's how.

By Kimberly Bonnell & Pamela Redmond Satran

1. Gossip, yes, but don't get mean. She'll wonder whether you're talking that way about her to everyone else.

2. If she's got a poppy seed in her teeth, mascara under her eyes or deodorant on her sweater, tell her.

3. Do not ̶ repeat, do not ̶ side with her mother.

4. If she's crazy about him, pretend he's your brother and never date him. Ever.

5. Have that scary fight about how she's been bugging you. If you can go there for a guy, you can for her, too.

6. Keep her ring size filed away in case you-know-who calls for advice about you-know-what.

7. Oh, just wear the bridesmaid's dress.

8. See straight through her attempts at cool perfection and love her more for the weaknesses she's trying to hide.

9. Remind her that she wasn't that into him, either.

10. When the guy dumps her, the cat gets cancer, the job explodes, simply be there.

never say never

I NEVER post twice in one day but this is an occasion that calls for it...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT M!!!

my secret identity

It used to be Victoria but now it's Katie...

(Photos courtesy of Frugal-Fashionista)

dear body, thank you

I did it.
I'm home now - showered and clean and relaxed.
My nerves were for nothing. It was so much easier than I expected.
I finished faster than I thought I would and it was nowhere near last!
Not to mention all the free shwag I picked up ;-)
So when's the next 5k ladies?

P.S.
Thank you to all my friends and family for the support - it's the only reason I actually showed up today!

you are so intriguing

I've been wearing My Heart's cologne lately.

A) Because it smells like him and I want to be closer to him somehow
B) Because it smells like him and I want him to notice
C) Because it smells like Fall more than my perfume does

Since A & B don't seem to be working I went ahead and found my own smell for Fall and I'm so happy I did... Jo Malone Sweet Lime and Cedar Cologne is exactly what I was looking for.

shooting stars

My Dad sent us girLs an email describing Luc's last day and I loved it so much I thought I'd post it. Poor one out for our old friend...

Well its been a week now and i'd thought i'd send out an update.

Luc spent the last night on earth cuddled up in a blanket in my arms. We stayed up until 2:30 having a few drinks and reminising about old times. We shared a few laughs, some tears and some bacardi. Then I put Luc to bed with Mooshie. The next morning Luc was all excited to be going for a car ride. Made me second guess the decision as he picked his little head up and wanted to stick it out the window. He loved car rides. But when we got to the vets office, he just lay there with no energy and when the vet. came in, right away he agreed it was time. Made me feel a lot better about the decision. Luc went peacefully, the last words he heard ( or I hope he heard cuz you know he was deaf) were "You're a good boy lukie boy" as I held him for the vet.

Mooshie's just loving all the attention that he's been getting, new haircut, extra walks and cuddling, double the treats (he especially loves double the treats, he potties twice as much just to get a treat!!) The first couple of days he would bark in his kennel, just sit there and bark. I think he realizes now that Luc isn't coming back.

The vets office called on monday to say that Luc's ashes were ready to get picked up. Wasn't ready to do that yet. Not till Thursday. Mooshie and I went to go get him. Mooshie doesn't know how to ride in a car, he's afraid to stick his head out the window and all he wants to do is sit in my lap!! Well we picked them up and i tried to tell mooshie that it was luc, but he didn't buy it. Wasn't sure how i would feel picking up luc's ashes but actually when i put them on the mantle above the fireplace, it was a good feeling, cuz luc's home again. and he'll always be home.

M, love the picture on the post on the blog.

Love

Dad

solace in the equinox

Dear Fall,
I miss you old friend.
The comfort of your crisp air and vibrant colors no longer here for me.
Where did you go and why so far away?
Oh, you say, it was me who left?
I am sorry dear one for I miss you more than the others.
I miss the passing of the summer months with the hope for something fresh and new.
I long to take in the deep clean breaths of your cold but not yet frozen air.
To feel that change once again seems from so long ago.
To go back to those times... those good times.
Of family and of friends.
Of the familiar and the unknown.
My dearest fall.
How can you ever forgive me leaving you, my favorite, for something so unworthy.
If only you would bring me back with open arms and love me the way I love you.
Yours Always,
the GirL

go team taco

It's getting so close and I'm getting so nervous.
I should have trained harder.
Why didn't I train harder?
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I don't want to be the last one to finish.
I want to be able to finish with my friends.
What was I thinking doing this?
It's for a good cause.
It's more than just for me.
Wanna help?

Donate to Kickin Cancer

Join Us and Run!

scared to look

And on a lighter note today...



Really Domino's? Really?

ahead of the tombstone

A bit disconnected in that all too connected sort of way
Running around feeling lost and hostile
Not wanting to be anything but alone
Missing you
Missing them
Wondering when it all becomes
That circle
Full circle
Complete

When you just want to be
Within that space that suffocates
Separated because you feel
Happy but you don't know how to be
When it all went wrong
When it was right
Right there
Here

someone out there helping

Not a single phone call, text message or email... hmm, well no matter. I am fine thanks. I did not happen to be on that train so I am fine. But others were not so lucky...

Dear M --

Yesterday afternoon, a Metrolink commuter train carrying 225 people collided with a freight train in the Chatsworth area of the San Fernando Valley, killing at least 23 and leaving at least 135 injured. Survivors have been rushed to several local area hospitals and many are in critical condition.

Many of you have asked what you can do to help. The UCLA Blood and Platelet Center will be open Monday through Friday to accept blood donations. Healthy donors of all blood types are needed to donate blood. Appointments can be made by calling 310-794-7217 ext. 2. Contact the Red Cross at 800-RED-CROSS or visit www.redcross.org for other information about blood donation or ways you can help.

Thank you, and please keep your thoughts and prayers with the families and victims affected by this terrible tragedy.

Mitchell

Mitchell Schwartz
California State Director
Obama for America

friday filler

#39 Vacation in Costa Rica

#31 Sew myself something

#14 Get a photograph published

#22 Learn to meditate

#4 Be humble

talking smack

When I was in 5th grade I had this 6th grader as a best friend. She lived down the street and introduced me to boy's racing bikes, scooters, holy water and Dr. Pepper. I never really cared for soda even though we always had Pepsi in the house but once I met Dr. Pepper I was in love.

Another love was Bonne Bell Lip Smacker Lip Balm which my mom usually put in our stockings every Christmas along with chocolate Santas.

My world was complete the year I found the Dr. Pepper Bonne Bell Lip Smacker Lip Balm at the bottom of my stocking.

Cut to a decade and then some later and my newest love - thanks to life long best friend G... on 10 cosmetics Dr. Pepper Berries & Cream In Good Taste Lip Conditioner with SPF 15 Sunscreen. This was in my birthday package and I absolutely LOVE it! Thanks G!

(Wish I could find a pic of the beautiful box it comes in)

who has the heart

Today was unusual in that I left the office for lunch. I was actually a bit lost in what to do with myself. I had put a call in to My Heart but he was busy. I decided to go to the book store and eat with a new read. I drove because it's LA and it's hot and I have heels on and I'm lazy. At the meter there was a shiny new quarter sitting on top waiting for me to put it in. I went into Borders and wandered forever but couldn't find what I was looking for. I didn't know the name of either book or the name of either author even though they are father and son. Luckily, the staff were crafty and knowledgeable and good investigators/hunters. We found both books. Correction, they found both books - Tweak by Nic Sheff and beautiful boy by David Sheff. I bought them both. I was going to go to this little Thai place and pick up something to go but passed a Japanese place on my way back to the car. I went in with the intention of taking something from there to go. I ended up sitting at a table for four - just me and my books. The food was good but the service was relaxed. I ate and I read and finally I left. Walked to my car with the intentions of paying back the quarter to the next meter parker. But I had a ticket. A stupid parking ticket. But thanks for the quarter anyway, it was nice.

something to try

There was this box of glass you got into and then it moved from the inside out and then it went clear. That's how you could see how far up you really were. That's how you could see how far away from home you'd really gone. That was the Eureka Tower. I am afraid of heights but not afraid of trying something. It was on this day that we were walking through Federation Square and I saw this and it was one of my favorites. Meet Chor Boogie:

use the force

Once there was a role of film left on the kitchen counter with a note saying, "if you want to know what your dogs do while you are away develop this." We developed it...

Today after a long and very happy life, my first dog ever is being put to sleep.
Luc, you were a sweet and fun little puppy your whole life. Always up for anything us three girls put you through. Mushy will be lost without your lead. I love you buddy.
You are a good dog.