I AM - official trailer

I was lucky enough to be a part of creating this trailer.
Much thanks to Tom & to Dagan for opening my heart.

together we can

There's this documentary out in select theaters right now called I AM.  I have seen it 4 times and wouldn't be opposed to seeing it again.  It's made me see things in a new light, actually, let's say a different light.

We are all connected.  We, the Earth, Mother Nature, Human Beings, Plants, Animals, We.  And we are meant to work as a community but more times than not, that is forgotten.  It's in the face of tragedy that we come together and again, we are one.  As now, the world is one with Japan.

Forget the economic impact.  Forget about what's in style right now.  Forget about your problems - just for one minute... and do something to help someone else out with theirs.  The inner joy that will come is undeniable.  Follow your heart and your brain will eventually catch up.

I work hard at my job to live a comfortable life.  But I am not comfortable in life and I do not want to be defined by my job.  So I signed up to be a tutor for a non-profit organization called School On Wheels.  The fear I have in doing this is over shadowed by the need that my student has in the face of adversity.  And my inner joy grows.

This is hopefully just a first, small step towards what my life will become.  Let's start this conversation so that we can build a community, because we all belong.  We are each one part of the whole.

letting some air out

You know those times when you have the best of intentions and then they kinda blow up in your face?
Yea, so that happened.

I try not to be demanding or to want for anything from others when it comes to my space.  I take what I have and try to make the best of it.  But sometimes that's hard to swallow because it's not you and you see others in spaces that are them.  So you ask but because you never usually ask you're not taken seriously or you're put on the back burner.

I'm recycling, reusing and redoing mostly on my own but now, some how it feels like I'm not - like I've become that pain in the ass I was trying to avoid being in the first place.

I don't wanna take it personally (even though I totally do).  I should have just asked straight forward for it in the first place.  Or should I have just avoided asking altogether and done it myself?  That's more my style, that's what I should have done...

where i'm at, won't you join me?

I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself, so you don’t need to worry that your pain might hurt me.

Courtesy of:
10 Things to Say and 10 Not to Say to Someone With Depression - depression - Health.com

to you with love

My Heart and I have never been much into this day of hearts and roses.  For one, I don't like flowers really, unless they are planted and in their natural environment.  Also, I don't want to be reminded to open my heart, it should be something we think about doing every day.  I understand if it's your thing but it's just not mine.

Love, every day, that's my thing and I'm working on being more present in that.  So this story hit close to home for me because of that very thing.  But also, if you know me you will know that the following 3 statements are true:

1. I come from a family of police officers
2. I am an unconditional, bleeding heart, lover of all animals
3. I am familiar with losing someone I love to cancer

LONG BEACH OFFICE PATROLLED WITH COMPASSION

We think this world is too big to change but if we start with I, then it will become WE.  More on that later...

XOXO

hello I'm found again

Tonight I missed out on joining friends in celebrating a birthday.  A birthday that someone flew home as a surprise for.  Celebrating with people I love and miss.

This week I took 3 days of vacation off from work and still ended up working nearly 40 hours.  I took vacation to spend time with one of my dearest friends from WAY back who flew here to visit me.

This month I have not blogged once.  Actually, I haven't blogged in over a month.  In an industry full of creatives, blogging is where I feel my most creative.

My job is dictating my life.  I live to work, I do not work to live (or is it the other way around - I'm so upside down these days).  Actually, I live quite comfortably if you count the few hours I have spent outside of my office in the past 3 months.

I own a (not-so-small) home in LA.

I have 4 rescue animals.

I drive a Mazda 6 I bought new the year they came out.

Mostly all material things.

I travel.  A lot.  And I can't even fathom giving that up.

The pros and the cons.  Do they weigh an equal amount, sides meaning nothing?  Or are some worth more than others?

I'm lost right now.  Torn between some loves and some hates.  I don't know which direction I'm going in or which direction I want to go.

This happens.

Drastic measures?  Or simple changes?

I don't want to miss out on life.  But am I doing so by complaining about it?  Yes, I think that's the answer.  Opinions?

page by page

I recently purchased a Kindle.  I had been wanting an e-reader but wasn't sure which one to go with.  When Amazon announced the $139 Kindle I figured why the hell not and went for it.

It seems to be like a pretty cool little device and I just purchased my first book for it, Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.  I was inspired to read the book after I saw the trailer for the movie.

'Never Let Me Go' Theatrical Trailer @ Yahoo! Video

I find that when I'm on a roll I'm addicted to reading. I finished the 3 Stieg Larsson books recently and although they were challenging to get into at times, I really enjoyed them. Then over the long weekend I read Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake. I couldn't put that one down and am looking forward to reading her follow up to it, The Year Of The Flood.  Oh, I've also just started the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman (aka The Golden Compass books).  And I'm trying to finish Tell Me Where it Hurts: A Day of Humor, Healing and Hope in My Life as an Animal Surgeon by Dr. Nick Trout.   Ah, books - such an underrated form of entertainment in my opinion!

Anyone have any other suggestions of some good reading material?

rick! rick! rick!

We are now officially less than a week away from the first day of Autumn, so many people's favorite season.  I too love Fall with it's crisp cool air and warm cozy colors.

This email from Net-A-Porter.com made me want to gear up for the season with comfortable neutral layers ala The New Jersey:

I'm particularly in love with this outfit and may have to search for a discount version of it:

one step at a time

Sometimes I fancy myself an idealist, thinking my small acts of kindness can change the world into a better place.  Unfortunately, this is rare and I'm often overtaken by a pain in knowing that nothing will every truly change.  It hurts me to see the destruction mankind and mother nature continually throw at one another and each other and us and you and them and... I don't know, sorry.  Not sure where I'm going with this all.  I have an inner hole that is hard to fill.  I can't remember a time not having this hole.  But there's also this light and so I try to focus on that.

When My Heart and I were down under for our 30th birthdays I ran across this beautiful greeting card in a cute little shop somewhere in Melbourne.  I snatched it up thinking it spoke to me and for me - knowing that it would go on my blog.  That was over 2 years ago but here it is...

thank you very much

Today's mantra:

please confirm receipt

this is for real

Joanna at A Cup of Jo recently posted this video on her blog and because it's stuck with me ever since I thought I should share it with you all.  I love love.

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

the update

I have updated my "blog roll" as the kids are calling it.  I recommend checking out some of my new daily reads as they are all really talented bloggers.

not my cup of cream

I didn't like the Brookfields from Bass.com either (they kinda looked like I had one giant white toenail) and I decided against ordering the other ones because of this:

Now, I love me some Project Runway and I liked Peach as a person just maybe not so much as a designer.  So when I saw that she had on what looked like the Casell, I decided then and there the shoe wasn't for me.  I was hoping for a substitute to the $300 Marc Jacob loafers but there is none.  There's something about the shape & the patent leather that are perfect, not too old lady-ish but still classic.  Sorry Peach, you're a peach and all but I don't think I'm ready to dress like you and so I'm going to go without my two-toned loafers for now.  Thanks for setting me straight though!  XOXO

where its at

I know I've been MIA lately but it's because I've been in the middle of a busy vacation sandwich.  If I had more time I would create a visual aid to help describe that but instead I will explain in words...

WORK last week (the bottom bread of BUSY)
VACATION over the long weekend (the yummy filling in my sammy including no internet or cell service for nearly 5 days!)
Work this week (the top bread of BUSY)

Hope to catch up with you all soon!
XOXO

loafing around

Ok, not gonna lie... I bought these:

I felt guilty about paying so much for a pair of shoes but I absolutely loved them. I knew however, that the fit needed to be impeccable in order for me to keep them. Unfortunately it was less than. So I returned them, relieved to get my money back but sad that I would not have gorgeous two-toned loafers for the fall.

Then the September issue of Real Simple came out and they had a page of loafers and my two-toned beauties were there, only instead of the $295 price tag it was a mere $79! The shoes in the magazine were from Bass and so I immediately went to their website and purchased these:

But if you'll look closely, the price tag is only $69 instead of the $79 I saw in the magazine. Of course, I just think I've scored an even better deal and go ahead and buy them. All week I've been counting down until Friday just to get my new shoes and write this blog post about them... And that's when I realize it was actually these I MEANT TO BUY!

UGH. Damn it! Well, the Brookfields arrive today and who knows, maybe I'll love them so much I won't care that they're not quite the right loafer. And if I don't love them I will just send them back to Bass and get the Casell instead. You know what they say, third time's a charm!

not too shabby

Oh my god you guys!  I won something!  A giveaway on one of my favorite blogs!  AAAHHHHHHH!!! I'm so super excited :-)  Happy Friday to me!  (and to all of you of course!)

Petunia Face, one of my absolute must reads had a giveaway on Monday from Shabby Apple.  Now, I enter these giveaways on a few blogs here and there but never really expect to win anything so imagine my surprise when I saw that she announced the winner today, AND IT WAS ME!

Here is the gorgeous frock I won:

 The Casablanca Dress

Gonna start hitting the gym a bit harder so that I can strike a fantastic pose I can share with you all in this beaut!  XOXO

long way round

Speaking of blogs... I was just reading A CUP OF JO (one of my favorites) and saw these super cute puzzle boards!  But that is besides the point, I was gonna leave a comment and so I started reading through the ones people had already left.  Someone kinda gave her shit for posting about these because apparently they're old news.  But that is ALSO besides the point!  Of course I clicked on that someone's blog and their post today reminded me of something I forgot to tell you about our trip to NYC...

THE DOUGHNUT PLANT

A co-worker had just visited New York right before we did and he suggested we check this place out.  Now, I 'm not one who really enjoys donuts so I wasn't that excited about it.  But My Heart could probably live off the things and it was only a couple of blocks from our hotel so we just had to check it out.  I'm lucky they don't have one here in LA because they were AMAZING.  I had a Tres Leches and a Creme Brulee donut (they're small, cut me some slack!) and I can't remember what My Heart had because I was so caught up in the deliciousness of my own tasty treats.  If you're ever in the city I highly recommend stopping by this joint for some fresh goodness.

diving beneath

It's Friday and I know that I haven't blogged much this week.  So here's a few tidbits for you readers out there...

• Work is fun when you have a purpose
• I miss pilates
• My sanity comes and goes but My Heart sticks with me through it all
• You don't need 100 friends as long as you've always got someone to turn to
• There are a lot of really great people writing blogs

As you can probably tell from a few of my most recent posts, I've been in my dark place but I think I'm coming out of it.  It helps to go to work and feel needed, to fight with your partner and still be okay with each other and to have friends that you can always turn to for an ear and a shoulder. 

Also, the creativity of others is really inspiring.  I've been reading a few new blogs lately and it really lifts me up to see what people write about, what they do.  I'll be updating my blog lists in the next week or so and I encourage you all to wander through some of these blogs and see what they're all about.

Three years later and I'm not so sure what this blog is all about.  Sometimes it makes me sad that I've been doing it this long and don't really have readers other than friends or family.  But then I remember that the purpose of most blogs is a bit selfish and so I embrace that.  This is for me.  I enjoy it.  If I didn't, I would quit.

And so I leave you with this:

Meet the Seabreacher X

marshell and allen

MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

You should really watch this.  One of my FB friends posted this today and I was hesitant to start watching it, because, you know, everyone posts videos on facebook but they're not always worth your time, this one is.  I'm in love.

UPDATE: The voice (untreated & un-enhanced) of Marcel is none other than Jenny Slate most recently of SNL fame:

Photo taken from Best New York Comedy

in dreams

Gapers Block : A/C : Chicago Arts & Culture - Lost in the Trees@Pritzker Pavilion in Millennium Park, 8/16/10

I REALLY wish I could have been there. This is exactly what I was talking about when I blogged about these guys last week. And Millennium Park is one of my favorite places in all the world (that I've actually visited). A girl can dream...