31 January 2008
23 January 2008
22 January 2008
long lost hero
Today I realized that everything is OK. That is, in it's own time.
I've gotten myself worked up over a lot of things and usually it has to do with the impression I feel I've made with others. I can come off rude because I have social anxiety but I can also come across as annoying because I love to talk. Sounds like a contradiction I know. Trust me, they're both true. In the end, more times than not, it all works out swimmingly and I've gotten all caught up in the what ifs for nothing.
Sometimes I get worried about what I may have done in the past - I haven't always made the best decisions. I have learned to live with them and I try not to regret anything (at least not too much) because it has all led up to this. And this my friends is AMAZING. Granted, I've worked hard to get where I am today but I really couldn't have asked for more. So no, I wouldn't change a thing even if I may not own up to it all today!
I would however, like to say I'm sorry for those I have been hurtful, impatient, rude and down right mean to. I am a good person and I want to be thought of as kind and caring with a great personality and a winning smile - and someone who you can go out and have fun with. Cheesy. I can't help it. That's me.
And I know, I shouldn't worry so much about what other people thing. I would like to say it's only the people I either care about or think I may care about one day.
I've gotten myself worked up over a lot of things and usually it has to do with the impression I feel I've made with others. I can come off rude because I have social anxiety but I can also come across as annoying because I love to talk. Sounds like a contradiction I know. Trust me, they're both true. In the end, more times than not, it all works out swimmingly and I've gotten all caught up in the what ifs for nothing.
Sometimes I get worried about what I may have done in the past - I haven't always made the best decisions. I have learned to live with them and I try not to regret anything (at least not too much) because it has all led up to this. And this my friends is AMAZING. Granted, I've worked hard to get where I am today but I really couldn't have asked for more. So no, I wouldn't change a thing even if I may not own up to it all today!
I would however, like to say I'm sorry for those I have been hurtful, impatient, rude and down right mean to. I am a good person and I want to be thought of as kind and caring with a great personality and a winning smile - and someone who you can go out and have fun with. Cheesy. I can't help it. That's me.
And I know, I shouldn't worry so much about what other people thing. I would like to say it's only the people I either care about or think I may care about one day.
21 January 2008
inappropriate use
Got that "new" chair today. I say it like that because it was an "extra" one that just "happened" to be lying around the office. It's some AREON chair. It seems better. We'll "see"
17 January 2008
night of the living?
Last night, on my way home from the grocery store after work, the street and traffic lights were out in a portion of my neighborhood. Come to find out the power was out for a couple of blocks around my house, including my house. Luckily, we all have cell phones these days. So I pull out my cell phone to use the light from it to get in the front door and walk up the stairs (leaving my grocery bags at the base for later - putting my own safety above that of the food).
So once I was safely in the house I went around and lit every candle I could find. It was awesome. The warm glow coming from every room made it easy to navigate wherever I needed to go but it was also really calming.
I did use a flashlight to go back downstairs and check the mail. While down there I thought I would open the front door and take in the dark surroundings. It felt as if zombies were going to attack at any moment. I noticed a girl parked in her car in front of the house who was also using her cell phone for light.
A few minutes after I had gone back upstairs our intercom call box from the front door made a sound as if someone had pushed the button from outside. I was terrified. The zombies had come. Then I thought maybe the girl from the car needed some help. I pushed the button back and said hello a couple of times. No answer. Things were getting scary.
That is until I realized the intercom made the noise because the power was back on.
So once I was safely in the house I went around and lit every candle I could find. It was awesome. The warm glow coming from every room made it easy to navigate wherever I needed to go but it was also really calming.
I did use a flashlight to go back downstairs and check the mail. While down there I thought I would open the front door and take in the dark surroundings. It felt as if zombies were going to attack at any moment. I noticed a girl parked in her car in front of the house who was also using her cell phone for light.
A few minutes after I had gone back upstairs our intercom call box from the front door made a sound as if someone had pushed the button from outside. I was terrified. The zombies had come. Then I thought maybe the girl from the car needed some help. I pushed the button back and said hello a couple of times. No answer. Things were getting scary.
That is until I realized the intercom made the noise because the power was back on.
14 January 2008
just smurfy thank you!
This year is the 50th birthday of the Smurfs.
Growing up I loved these guys.
I had stuffed Smurfs I slept with and small plastic Smurfs I collected.
When I was 5 I was a Smurf for Halloween.
It was the best damn Halloween costume you have EVER seen.
My dad was really good at that sort of stuff.
I'll give him a call and see if he can send the photo so I can post it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMURFS!
Growing up I loved these guys.
I had stuffed Smurfs I slept with and small plastic Smurfs I collected.
When I was 5 I was a Smurf for Halloween.
It was the best damn Halloween costume you have EVER seen.
My dad was really good at that sort of stuff.
I'll give him a call and see if he can send the photo so I can post it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMURFS!
11 January 2008
hop on pop
My back is killing me. It may be because I've been sitting at my desk at work all week instead of running around. I need a new chair. Is that something I can ask my company to buy me? I want one of those really nice ones. I think I'll ask at the next meeting. Other people here have them, why shouldn't I? I did buy myself a really cute little foot rest. It's a suede cube that can store things in it. It's a beige-ish color that kind of matches my couch. I also bought some pillows and a little throw for my couch. My office needed color (other than the yellow of the walls - which I hope to get painted some day). Now I just need a couple of more personal touches to add to the photographs and candles and it will be all mine. Should I bring the bobble head collection in? I'd need shelves for that. And it's kind of tacky. But fun. I don't know.
But I digress.
My Heart has been seeing a chiropractor lately. Maybe that's what I need to do. I wonder if my insurance covers that...
But I digress.
My Heart has been seeing a chiropractor lately. Maybe that's what I need to do. I wonder if my insurance covers that...
09 January 2008
plastic covered couch
My great grandmother is 101 years old. When asked what she wanted for her most recent birthday she replied, "not to have another one."
She's more alert and active than you would expect for her age. She reads and watches TV to pass the time. She loves baseball and will carry on a pretty decent conversation with any enthusiast no matter where their allegiance lies (hers is with the Yankees as is our entire family). She lived with my grandpa, her son, and a cat named Bher that rode around the house on her walker until recently. They (not that I really know who they are - Bher and my grandpa?) moved her to a hospital a little while back. Said (they again) she was excited to go because her sister was there. I didn't even know she had a sister, let alone one that is still alive. I wonder if this hospital is an actual hospital or if it's a nursing home? I never thought about that until now...
My whole life she's been old but oddly enough, it doesn't seem like she's getting older. At least not to me but obviously it's a different story for her.
She was supposed to go into surgery this week. For something minor none the less it's surgery on a 101 year old body. The doctors say she has a strong heart though and should be fine.
They've postponed it until next week because the hospital wasn't prepared. What is that supposed to mean? How can a hospital not be ready? And if a hospital is not ready do you really want them to do surgery on you?
She's more alert and active than you would expect for her age. She reads and watches TV to pass the time. She loves baseball and will carry on a pretty decent conversation with any enthusiast no matter where their allegiance lies (hers is with the Yankees as is our entire family). She lived with my grandpa, her son, and a cat named Bher that rode around the house on her walker until recently. They (not that I really know who they are - Bher and my grandpa?) moved her to a hospital a little while back. Said (they again) she was excited to go because her sister was there. I didn't even know she had a sister, let alone one that is still alive. I wonder if this hospital is an actual hospital or if it's a nursing home? I never thought about that until now...
My whole life she's been old but oddly enough, it doesn't seem like she's getting older. At least not to me but obviously it's a different story for her.
She was supposed to go into surgery this week. For something minor none the less it's surgery on a 101 year old body. The doctors say she has a strong heart though and should be fine.
They've postponed it until next week because the hospital wasn't prepared. What is that supposed to mean? How can a hospital not be ready? And if a hospital is not ready do you really want them to do surgery on you?
08 January 2008
molecular dogma
Over the holidays I finally finished reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. This book has taken me years to complete and it's a wonderful feeling to have finished it - finally. I also read Into The Wild which was a quick and easy read that stirred a lot of personal issues (I don't think it's necessary to go any further into). So with that goal complete I'm now on to new and exciting reading.
I've brought my college biology text book to work to read! Fun right?
I don't really know what has gotten into me but I feel like learning again. I have always been good at being a student whether it be in school or at work. Now that I'm back in the old familiar business I need to expand my horizons in other areas. I love biology (amongst a vast array of things). I feel like there are aspects of it I need a refresher course on. So I am going to read my biology text book.
I'll let you know how it goes!
I've brought my college biology text book to work to read! Fun right?
I don't really know what has gotten into me but I feel like learning again. I have always been good at being a student whether it be in school or at work. Now that I'm back in the old familiar business I need to expand my horizons in other areas. I love biology (amongst a vast array of things). I feel like there are aspects of it I need a refresher course on. So I am going to read my biology text book.
I'll let you know how it goes!
07 January 2008
my victoria
On Saturday I got a haircut for the first time in over a year.
One of my friends had been growing his hair out to donate it and I decided that was a good idea. I had wanted to do this before, one of my little sisters had done it.
So my waist length hair is now sitting in a plastic bag next to me while I sport a new short and sassy style (yep, I said sassy and it is).
It feels so liberating. I can't believe what a burden long hair had become. Everyone giving you compliments on how long your hair is doesn't make up for the tangles and pulling and washing time. It's a pain in the ass! So short hair is not only sassy - it's EASY! I love it. And now my effort shall not be wasted...
www.locksoflove.org
One of my friends had been growing his hair out to donate it and I decided that was a good idea. I had wanted to do this before, one of my little sisters had done it.
So my waist length hair is now sitting in a plastic bag next to me while I sport a new short and sassy style (yep, I said sassy and it is).
It feels so liberating. I can't believe what a burden long hair had become. Everyone giving you compliments on how long your hair is doesn't make up for the tangles and pulling and washing time. It's a pain in the ass! So short hair is not only sassy - it's EASY! I love it. And now my effort shall not be wasted...
www.locksoflove.org
03 January 2008
the little black one
as Grandma Ellen calls him, had surgery yesterday.
It was devestating for a mom to have to sit by and do nothing while her little one is in the hospital all night.
I don't know how it happened but he basically tore out a claw and it had to be surgically removed and sewn up.
Poor little guy.
Now just look at him...
It was devestating for a mom to have to sit by and do nothing while her little one is in the hospital all night.
I don't know how it happened but he basically tore out a claw and it had to be surgically removed and sewn up.
Poor little guy.
Now just look at him...
02 January 2008
whew
I'm home.
It feels good and it's time to get back to my old/new self again.
San Francisco was amazing minus the cold (my cold that is - not the weather, it was perfect until the day we left).
Chicago was relaxing minus the cough (that still hasn't completly gone away).
I was nervous about my first day back to work in over 2 weeks but it's just as comfortable as the day I left (if not more so now that I have some of my own stuff in my new office).
Got a lot of fun stuff for Christmas.
Gave some fun stuff for Christmas.
Couldn't stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve.
The little black one is having minor surgery on his foot today.
My Heart is still on leave from his job.
I'm about to beat Zelda on the DS.
And that's life in a nutshell for now.
It feels good and it's time to get back to my old/new self again.
San Francisco was amazing minus the cold (my cold that is - not the weather, it was perfect until the day we left).
Chicago was relaxing minus the cough (that still hasn't completly gone away).
I was nervous about my first day back to work in over 2 weeks but it's just as comfortable as the day I left (if not more so now that I have some of my own stuff in my new office).
Got a lot of fun stuff for Christmas.
Gave some fun stuff for Christmas.
Couldn't stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve.
The little black one is having minor surgery on his foot today.
My Heart is still on leave from his job.
I'm about to beat Zelda on the DS.
And that's life in a nutshell for now.
12 December 2007
the pieces
One picture puzzle piece
Lyin' on the sidewalk,
One picture puzzle piece
Soakin' in the rain.
It might be a button of blue
On the coat of the woman
Who lived in a shoe.
It might be a magical bean,
Or a fold in the red
Velvet robe of a queen.
It might be the one little bite
Of the apple her stepmother
Gave to Snow White.
It might be the veil of a bride
Or a bottle with some evil genie inside.
It might be a small tuft of hair
On the big bouncy belly
Of Bobo the Bear.
It might be a bit of the cloak
Of the Witch of the West
As she melted to smoke.
It might be a shadowy trace
Of a tear that runs down an angel's face.
Nothing has more possibilities
Than one old wet picture puzzle piece.
Shel Silverstein
Picture Puzzle Piece
Lyin' on the sidewalk,
One picture puzzle piece
Soakin' in the rain.
It might be a button of blue
On the coat of the woman
Who lived in a shoe.
It might be a magical bean,
Or a fold in the red
Velvet robe of a queen.
It might be the one little bite
Of the apple her stepmother
Gave to Snow White.
It might be the veil of a bride
Or a bottle with some evil genie inside.
It might be a small tuft of hair
On the big bouncy belly
Of Bobo the Bear.
It might be a bit of the cloak
Of the Witch of the West
As she melted to smoke.
It might be a shadowy trace
Of a tear that runs down an angel's face.
Nothing has more possibilities
Than one old wet picture puzzle piece.
Shel Silverstein
Picture Puzzle Piece
11 December 2007
with my little eye
Sometimes I get caught up in my head. Trapped really. I've gotten better at controlling (or ignoring?) it over the past couple of years and it's not as hard as it used to be. But every once in a while there will be a trigger that puts me back into this place. It's actually comforting in a way - I know it's me, it's something familiar even if it can feel like torture. Maybe that's why I'm here... I've done this in order to feel like this again. I was missing it? Is it inevitable? Nothing is perfect.
06 December 2007
schnitzel with noodles
This year, as in years past, most of our Christmas shopping will be done online. It's just easier when my family is in Colorado and his is in Chicago. Even though we go to one place or the other for the holiday, checking bags sucks so the less we take with us the better.
Now my dilemma - what to get for people!? I hate this. What do you get the person who has everything? How do you surprise someone when you have to ask them what they want? How do you make the gifts meaningful yet not seem cheap? I know it's the thought that counts but I've been thinking enough the past week to be set for about 10 years to come and yet I still have nothing. I love the idea of donating in people's names to organizations like Heifer International but not everyone appreciates that. Oh, some say they don't care but if it were the perfect gift then they would care! AAHHH, the perfect gift does NOT exist! I should have started this in August like the good obsessive compulsive I am...
Now my dilemma - what to get for people!? I hate this. What do you get the person who has everything? How do you surprise someone when you have to ask them what they want? How do you make the gifts meaningful yet not seem cheap? I know it's the thought that counts but I've been thinking enough the past week to be set for about 10 years to come and yet I still have nothing. I love the idea of donating in people's names to organizations like Heifer International but not everyone appreciates that. Oh, some say they don't care but if it were the perfect gift then they would care! AAHHH, the perfect gift does NOT exist! I should have started this in August like the good obsessive compulsive I am...
04 December 2007
fleeing the country
i love cats beat MC Hammerpants. Yup, that's right - the undefeated, unbeatable, reigning champion has been brought down by the girl who loves kitties.
I play in a fantasy football league with 13 other people (10 of them being guys). Last night was the last game of the regular season for us. My final opponent being the one and only Hammerpants. Nobody has been able to beat this guy. My Heart came the closest last week when he lost by one point. That is until i love cats finally brought the Pants down!
Now we start the playoffs and My Heart and I are playing each other in round 1. As much as I would love to win, he has a better chance of going all the way. I don't mind going out on this one sweet victory. Eat my kitty litter Hammerpants. WHOO! HOO!
I play in a fantasy football league with 13 other people (10 of them being guys). Last night was the last game of the regular season for us. My final opponent being the one and only Hammerpants. Nobody has been able to beat this guy. My Heart came the closest last week when he lost by one point. That is until i love cats finally brought the Pants down!
Now we start the playoffs and My Heart and I are playing each other in round 1. As much as I would love to win, he has a better chance of going all the way. I don't mind going out on this one sweet victory. Eat my kitty litter Hammerpants. WHOO! HOO!
03 December 2007
29 months later
Today is the first day I am alone at my new job. I mean, there are other people here just not anyone who does what I do. There is not much going on so I am not worried. Even if there was a lot going on, I've done this before and I'm good at doing this so I would still not be worried. I am a bit lonely though.
I asked My Heart to join me for lunch but unfortunately he was busy today. So I walked my lonely self up the street for some me on me time. I had a quick bite and then went to the book store where I bought a book and a coffee and spent most my lunch break consumed by this new adventure. As I walked back to the office, I realized that this is home now and I've never felt more comfortable going to work.
Everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to move into the real office, the one that was previously occupied by the other me. I don't feel right swooping in and taking over that office so soon. Yes, she was freelance and I am now permanent. Yes, it is a better chair and more private... but still. I've made the space I'm in my own. I'm comfortable being here. I don't need to be sitting in there to prove my place at this company. Eventually, but not today.
I asked My Heart to join me for lunch but unfortunately he was busy today. So I walked my lonely self up the street for some me on me time. I had a quick bite and then went to the book store where I bought a book and a coffee and spent most my lunch break consumed by this new adventure. As I walked back to the office, I realized that this is home now and I've never felt more comfortable going to work.
Everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to move into the real office, the one that was previously occupied by the other me. I don't feel right swooping in and taking over that office so soon. Yes, she was freelance and I am now permanent. Yes, it is a better chair and more private... but still. I've made the space I'm in my own. I'm comfortable being here. I don't need to be sitting in there to prove my place at this company. Eventually, but not today.
30 November 2007
dog gone days of summer
Apparently my biggest (and only) fan missed me over the Thanksgiving break. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the hiatus but don't worry, I haven't given up on this blogging thing just yet! Thanks for hanging in there and checking back for a new and exciting post!
By the way, the long weekend trip back home was great. We really spent some quality time with the family (although I did forget to take photos of the amazing spread my sisters and I put together) and My Heart and I got to enjoy a little piece of Colorado all to ourselves. One of the best trips yet.
We've got 2 more lined up before the year is over; a special getaway for 2 to San Fran and then a 9 day Chicago extravaganza. I can't wait.
So to all you fan (trust me, there is only 1) - don't get too sad when this girL is away for a while next month. She's a blogoholic and she'll be back!
By the way, the long weekend trip back home was great. We really spent some quality time with the family (although I did forget to take photos of the amazing spread my sisters and I put together) and My Heart and I got to enjoy a little piece of Colorado all to ourselves. One of the best trips yet.
We've got 2 more lined up before the year is over; a special getaway for 2 to San Fran and then a 9 day Chicago extravaganza. I can't wait.
So to all you fan (trust me, there is only 1) - don't get too sad when this girL is away for a while next month. She's a blogoholic and she'll be back!
29 November 2007
something pretty
Tonight is ladies night. Only the girls. Having a good time. With no boys we know. Doing something random, maybe drawn from a hat.
We started ladies night a few months ago with the intentions of getting together once a month to reconnect with eachother. So far so good (minus a few small things).
Tonight is shopping with a twist - that means alcohol (seems as though one requirement of ladies night is alcohol - which might be one of the small things previously mentioned).
I'm also introducing a new lady to the group tonight. She's one of my favorite but she's always working. Should be fun.
Oh, we're going to the VIP Shopping Party for opening night of Divine Design. It benefits the non-profit I used to work for, Project Angel Food. Check it out...
www.divinedesign.org
We started ladies night a few months ago with the intentions of getting together once a month to reconnect with eachother. So far so good (minus a few small things).
Tonight is shopping with a twist - that means alcohol (seems as though one requirement of ladies night is alcohol - which might be one of the small things previously mentioned).
I'm also introducing a new lady to the group tonight. She's one of my favorite but she's always working. Should be fun.
Oh, we're going to the VIP Shopping Party for opening night of Divine Design. It benefits the non-profit I used to work for, Project Angel Food. Check it out...
www.divinedesign.org
21 November 2007
lady of the lake
So I apologize for being upset with my writer/striker friends yesterday.
Apparently, they all banded together and had this amazing rally in Hollywood. Needless to say, they were not starting their holiday early but in fact, they were kind of working even harder than your average striker. I'm so proud of them! I only wish I knew it was happening so that I could have shown my support. I could have walked Hollywood Boulevard yelling out, "HONK, HONK!" Then they would be able to put a face with my honk and know how much I actually do care. Maybe I could even have had a t-shirt that said "HONK, HONK" on it. Man, I really love those guys.
Although... again today they weren't at their usual corners in front of the studios I pass on my way to work. Let's just hope there's another rally somewhere.
Apparently, they all banded together and had this amazing rally in Hollywood. Needless to say, they were not starting their holiday early but in fact, they were kind of working even harder than your average striker. I'm so proud of them! I only wish I knew it was happening so that I could have shown my support. I could have walked Hollywood Boulevard yelling out, "HONK, HONK!" Then they would be able to put a face with my honk and know how much I actually do care. Maybe I could even have had a t-shirt that said "HONK, HONK" on it. Man, I really love those guys.
Although... again today they weren't at their usual corners in front of the studios I pass on my way to work. Let's just hope there's another rally somewhere.
Photo taken from the office of My Heart with his new iPhone!
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