vintage not old

Although life has thrown a few curve balls our way the past couple of weeks it's important not to dwell on those sorts of things for too long. I admit, I'm in a bit of a funk but you know what... even depressed, I'm happy.

It's great to be surrounded by fun and loving people. My friends and family show me almost every day how loved I am. And with that they bring a smile to my face throughout the day. Thank you guys!

So this weekend I vow to enjoy window shopping as much as actually purchasing goods I don't need, soak up the sun and bask in the warmth it brings, snuggle my puppy and not get too angry when he pees on the floor for the 749th time, imbibe on a cheap glass of wine paired nicely with a hot dog while engaging in wonderful conversation with good people and celebrate all that one more year has brought me.

A few of the fine things shared with me this week:

• Family in town for a baseball tournament, staying at our house
  
• A beautiful bouquet of brightly colored roses
• About a dozen notes of love here and there
  
• An edible arrangement so fragrant you can't help but nibble on it all day (along with your co-workers)
  
• A yummy restaurant in my neighborhood called CaCao Mexicatessen (as Friend K says, "wild boar tacos, you're going down!")
  
• A truly fine bottle of Jameson 18 Year Limited Reserve Irish Whiskey direct from Scotland (I know, I know - it's IRISH whiskey)
  
• And these gorgeous things from John Fluevog:

(I didn't get a pair but looking at them is gift enough)

my little mouse

On another note, I got an awesome comment from an anonymous poster last night on yesterday's blog post. Sometimes I hate anonymous comments but I leave that option enabled because I respect the right to privacy. Whoever you are anonymous, thank you. Your comment was beautiful and made me feel simply amazing - I cried and read it over and over. I can speculate who it might be and I love that there a few faces out there in my life (past and present) that I know are special enough to have sent me so much love.

And to Karen & Summer, thank you for also being such special people. I cherish having you both in my life.

XOXO

donde esta Santi Claus

Our unseasonably cool weather has me thinking, make that wishing, Fall is just around the corner. That time of cozy, snuggle love. Boots and rain. Scarves and pumpkin spiced lattes. I love it. And once Fall has passed, WINTER. I adore Winter in all it's glorious coldness. I love walking through the chill to get home to the warmth. Makes me feel alive. The heat of the Summer just makes me want to lie in a slumber for days on end hoping that it will just go away. I try not to waste away my Summers like that but I just don't love the dog days of heat like I do a good blizzard. Call me crazy!

So when I was going through some photos for post inspiration I was drawn by a few random shots of our Christmas tree from last year. My Heart and I spent the holidays snuggled together in our new home. Thanksgiving was spent with a wonderful house full of family. But Christmas was just the two of us (and the furry kids of course!). It was quiet and sweet and perfect. As was our tree... just a small artificial one with a random assortment of collected ornaments.

Our little tree with lights reflected in the sliding glass doors.

Everyone got an ornament to represent them and by everyone I mean Matt, me, Mustard, Krunchy and Little Bear! Can you guess which ones are Matt and me???

To me, such a sight of beauty. I insisted that it stay up through most of January!

I particularly love this ornament. It says, "First Christmas In Our New Home"

i fucking miss you

I don't know where you are in this world but I do know that you are in my heart.

Sometimes it feels like we're all floating out here on our own, alone. We reach out and no one reaches back or they don't reach far enough. But sometimes the problem is that we aren't reaching far enough... yea, that's the problem. Try harder and don't let it hurt you so much when they don't try as hard. That's life baby.

I'm sad today. I'm sad for a friend I lost 4 years ago. I'm sad for a friend I lost last year. I'm also sad for the friends I've drifted away from in the past 4+ years. I'm awful at returning phone calls & emails and I know I should try harder. I should be the planner, the instigator. But I am not. And I feel it's emptiness.

If we are or were friends please know that I love you and that I miss you, today and always. If you ever need anything I will be that person you can count on, I promise. ALWAYS. I'm sorry we have been carried by the currents of our lives, apart. I would promise to try harder but I don't want to disappoint either of us.

So in the absence of the usual circle of love, My Heart and I will get on bikes and ride the shit out of them tonight. We may not be in Venice but know that our hearts are.

XOXO

http://www.yorkrules.com/anthony/

this tired heart

A friend once told me that content was the worst way to go through life. I've since gone from believing her to being content. And right now I'm getting a little fed up with content.

My Heart doesn't have a steady gig and so he has all this freedom. The freedom to work from home or to not even work should he feel the desire to lounge around or the need to do yard work. The freedom to take the dogs for a walk and grill up hot dogs on the back deck for lunch. If you can't already tell, I am envious of this freedom. I mean, who wouldn't be?

But I have the 9 to 5 and I have the paycheck coming in week after week and I have the responsibility of making sure the mortgage is paid. Or do I? I put it on myself, I know I do. I also add to my list of duties, the need to make it all alright. As irrational as I want to be (and as I am in my head), I tell everyone else that it's going to be just fine in the end.

And so I'm tired. I can't fix it all. I can't ease everyone's minds. I can't balance the weight of the world on these shoulders. I just need a break. PLEASE!? I guess that's why today I picked up this old blog. So it would be my fix, my ease and something to carry me.

Also, to fight the contentment I think I need to try and focus on things that make me happy. Being creative has always been something I wished I was but you know what? I can take a damn good picture if I know how to use the camera. So I'm gonna learn how to use my camera. And I can write a damn good paragraph if I just sit down and do it. So I'm gonna pick this blogging thing back up and try to do it more regularly, more personally. Maybe...

the littlest brother

And then there were four...

We love him but Moose is quite a handful right now! Puppies take so much time and energy which wouldn't be so bad if we weren't still trying to clean up the flea problem. Right now Little Bear is not his biggest fan but I'm sure that with time they are going to be best of friends. I mean, how can you not love that face!?

it was the best of times

It’s been one hell of a week…

Last weekend we made a quick stop at the Burbank Animal Shelter on our way to Target, and immediately we fell in love with a big pit bull terrier mix named Rufus. We went home and hummed and hawed over whether to adopt him or not. The decision was that on Monday I would take a long lunch and we would go back to the shelter to make a final decision (leaning toward yes at this point). But Monday morning I decided to check the Lacy Street Animal Shelter website to see who might want to come home with us from there (it’s right by our house). Lo and behold, there was Escalations… a sweet little Chihuahua mix puppy around 5 months old that we had met in June. When we first met him he had just been brought to the shelter and there was evidence of an owner so he was not up for adoption. A month later, no one had claimed him so there he sat waiting for us. Sad news for Rufus, Tuesday morning we went in and adopted Escalations. (But Matt has promised me that if Rufus doesn’t find a home and they are threatening to put him down we will foster him until we find him a forever home!)

What also happened Tuesday morning is that we woke up to what looked like dirt where Krunchy had been sleeping – our bed. After the adoption, Matt took Krunchy to the vet only to find out that he had fleas. I headed home early from work in order to help clean the house from head to toe and get rid of this damn infestation. The cats were quarantined to a bathroom and the dog to the kitchen after being treated with medication (Escalations would be at the vet until Wednesday afternoon). Matt and I scrubbed, vacuumed, washed, sprayed, bombed, dusted, mopped and cleaned the house until 2 in the morning. We said good night to all the kids in quarantine and headed off to a restless night of sleep. The next morning we were awake by 6am only to find new flea dirt on our clean sheets. Everything we had done apparently wasn’t enough. Matt got in touch with Orkin and I went to check on the kitties. And then chaos ensued… the cats were not in the bathroom where we had left them and the screen to the small and very high bathroom window was taken off the track and pushed open. They escaped! In a panic I ran outside in my pajamas with Matt hot on my heels. We frantically called for the cats. A faint meow came from a plastic garden bench we use for storage on the front porch. Mustard was found. But Krunchy would be much more elusive than that. I walked up and down our street, calling for Krunchy while tears streamed down my face. Matt and I were sure we would never find him. Matt had taken off his collar when applying the flea medication the day before. Now he was just a nameless black cat among the masses of stray cats in our neighborhood. We were panicked but came up with a plan to comb the area. Just then a stranger approached walking her dogs, Matt ran over to ask her if she’d seen our black cat. When I joined the conversation I realized it was someone I knew through work oddly enough, Jenni from Pixwel (didn’t even know she lived in the area). She had not seen our cat. It was at this point that I heard another meow in the distance. I abruptly left the conversation and ran in the direction of the sound. It was Krunchy! He came back to us! I don’t know where he had been but he was ready to come home. With that crisis averted we decided it was best to board all the animals at the vet while we continued to fight our flea problem.

The kids were all sent to the vet. Escalations had been renamed to Moose and would be staying at his vet until Friday. The Orkin man came and sprayed. Matt and I cleaned one last time. And now all our kids are back home, including Moose. The house is clean, our backs are sore but we think the fleas are all gone. Can’t wait to get home tonight and see my family! Happy Friday XOXO

P.S.
Pictures of Moose will come this weekend!

P.P.S.
Apparently it wasn't new flea dirt in our bed the next morning but old flea dirt stains (flea dirt is flea poop, fleas eat blood, flea poop is essentially blood)! Uh, guess we over-reacted just a bit... better safe than sorry though :-)