the pieces

One picture puzzle piece
Lyin' on the sidewalk,
One picture puzzle piece
Soakin' in the rain.
It might be a button of blue
On the coat of the woman
Who lived in a shoe.
It might be a magical bean,
Or a fold in the red
Velvet robe of a queen.
It might be the one little bite
Of the apple her stepmother
Gave to Snow White.
It might be the veil of a bride
Or a bottle with some evil genie inside.
It might be a small tuft of hair
On the big bouncy belly
Of Bobo the Bear.
It might be a bit of the cloak
Of the Witch of the West
As she melted to smoke.
It might be a shadowy trace
Of a tear that runs down an angel's face.
Nothing has more possibilities
Than one old wet picture puzzle piece.

Shel Silverstein
Picture Puzzle Piece

with my little eye

Sometimes I get caught up in my head. Trapped really. I've gotten better at controlling (or ignoring?) it over the past couple of years and it's not as hard as it used to be. But every once in a while there will be a trigger that puts me back into this place. It's actually comforting in a way - I know it's me, it's something familiar even if it can feel like torture. Maybe that's why I'm here... I've done this in order to feel like this again. I was missing it? Is it inevitable? Nothing is perfect.

schnitzel with noodles

This year, as in years past, most of our Christmas shopping will be done online. It's just easier when my family is in Colorado and his is in Chicago. Even though we go to one place or the other for the holiday, checking bags sucks so the less we take with us the better.
Now my dilemma - what to get for people!? I hate this. What do you get the person who has everything? How do you surprise someone when you have to ask them what they want? How do you make the gifts meaningful yet not seem cheap? I know it's the thought that counts but I've been thinking enough the past week to be set for about 10 years to come and yet I still have nothing. I love the idea of donating in people's names to organizations like Heifer International but not everyone appreciates that. Oh, some say they don't care but if it were the perfect gift then they would care! AAHHH, the perfect gift does NOT exist! I should have started this in August like the good obsessive compulsive I am...

fleeing the country

i love cats beat MC Hammerpants. Yup, that's right - the undefeated, unbeatable, reigning champion has been brought down by the girl who loves kitties.
I play in a fantasy football league with 13 other people (10 of them being guys). Last night was the last game of the regular season for us. My final opponent being the one and only Hammerpants. Nobody has been able to beat this guy. My Heart came the closest last week when he lost by one point. That is until i love cats finally brought the Pants down!
Now we start the playoffs and My Heart and I are playing each other in round 1. As much as I would love to win, he has a better chance of going all the way. I don't mind going out on this one sweet victory. Eat my kitty litter Hammerpants. WHOO! HOO!

29 months later

Today is the first day I am alone at my new job. I mean, there are other people here just not anyone who does what I do. There is not much going on so I am not worried. Even if there was a lot going on, I've done this before and I'm good at doing this so I would still not be worried. I am a bit lonely though.
I asked My Heart to join me for lunch but unfortunately he was busy today. So I walked my lonely self up the street for some me on me time. I had a quick bite and then went to the book store where I bought a book and a coffee and spent most my lunch break consumed by this new adventure. As I walked back to the office, I realized that this is home now and I've never felt more comfortable going to work.
Everyone keeps asking me when I'm going to move into the real office, the one that was previously occupied by the other me. I don't feel right swooping in and taking over that office so soon. Yes, she was freelance and I am now permanent. Yes, it is a better chair and more private... but still. I've made the space I'm in my own. I'm comfortable being here. I don't need to be sitting in there to prove my place at this company. Eventually, but not today.